[NVC Day 18] -- [Sometimes All You Can Do is Breathe] -- [Kirk/Bones]

[kirktastic]

After everything that had happened the last few days, whatever had infected him and boiled his blood on top of his stress about the new bond and the trial... Jim was starting to fall back into bad habits Bones had been trying to break of him for years. He didn't want to eat as it only added to the cramping in his stomach, and sleep... it either didn't come, or it came in fits.

There was just too much in his head, spinning endlessly. He sat there on the deck, back up against the wall of the building, with a PADD half propped up in his lap. Why did Vulcans have to be so damn exclusive about things? It was making his search for a healer, something to try and help them figure out what they needed to know about, and what they could do about, the bond. The last thing he needed was information spreading out about what had happened with Spock, honestly wasn't even happy with the idea of being caught going to the healer at all. Caught? What am I, sneaking out of the house? Jim almost laughed to himself.

He closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the wall, thinking. There had to be a way. Bones probably could contact someone, maybe even knew someone who could find someone else, but it had to be someone... they could trust. Maybe, more specifically, someone Jim could trust. This all felt too much like having to go see a psych. Way, way too much like having to see a psych. He'd have to talk to Bones about it, and they'd have to figure it out together. It was the only real chance they had to go about this without half of the planet and the media knowing, at least in Jim's mind.

He didn't want to have to think about what was coming up for the day. They had passed along the information along to him... he would be testifying today. The sheer idea of it had his stomach curling up on itself, the bones in his hand threatening to scream at him. He didn't want to sleep; the idea of nightmares about all that had happened were worse than the nightmares themselves.

At least the sunsets were beautiful on Sha'Kwai. The sunrises, coming up over the ocean, were more so.

He got up and put the PADD side, walking down to the sands and down the sands to the beach and down the beach to the water. He dropped his robe just outside of the water's range, then stepped into the lukewarm water. It felt like almost neutral-temperatured water, like a bath left too cool. He dove into the water.

(OOC: This is running on the premise that the trial was postponed for two days until the sexpop was dealt with, as well as this happens after a tread that will be coming up.)

Comments

[dctr-mccoy.livejournal.com]

"No one's taking the Enterprise away from you," Bones told him, twisting around to look Jim full in the face. "What happened to you with Nero, you took it, Jim. You survived it, and you moved on. No one can ask more from you than that."

It wasn't just that Jim didn't want Starfleet to see the weakness - he didn't want Bones to see it either, Bones knew that now. He almost understood, might have felt the same way himself, preferring to do it alone. Didn't make it easier.

"Can I come, just wait in the hall or something?" he asked, wishing he didn't sound so needy.

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

"Dammit, Bones." Jim shook his head, meeting those worried, dark eyes. "Ever since I got the Enterprise, since all this shit began, you know they've been looking for an excuse for me to fail. That's why they couldn't believe our reports about the people coming from other universes. Why Pike and Ephram ended up being on the ship. You know the fights I've been having with them trying to keep this crew together, keep them from treating everyone like a lab experiment." He leaned forward, pressing his head to Bones' shoulder.

Things he told no one else. A constant fear until Starfleet decided to stop this, decided to trust his reports. He sighed slowly, shaking his head. "I don't know. Don't know. I don't even know how I'm going to get through this. My hand hurts... kind of wished we left those damn tattoos on my face, make the counsel understand. Shock 'em."

[dctr-mccoy.livejournal.com]

"But you haven't failed, not at anything. All the shit that's happened on board, all these people that showed up - they can't fault you for anything." Bones ran this thumb over Jim's cheekbone. "Fuck, I defy them to find someone who would be as accepting, who'd have things running as smoothly, given all the circumstances."

"They got copies of all the pertinent medical records, Jim. Not - nothing we got locked down, nothing from the past. Just the stuff about what happened to you and your dad, that they need to see." Dozens of fractured bones, garish ink tattooed into massive tracts of Jim's skin, George's chest sliced open, infected with toxins. Sometimes words didn't present a full picture, but in this case, reading the medical report was just horrifying as the accompanying video evidence Bones had submitted. "They'll be plenty shocked."

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

He wondered if Bones' thumb was following the pink-white lines of his scars. He leaned into that hand, sighing. "I know they can't see it all." Just the softest whisper. Only the highest level of Starfleet could see his files when it came to Tarsus, and if someone had dared to access them the system would have warned him. Once the trial was over he would do the same for the information about his torture.

"...when do you have to testify?" Jim whispered, knowing it would be about him and his father and Pike. Bones had to be better than him at this,

[dctr-mccoy.livejournal.com]

Bones shrugged, sighing. "If they got questions about the records, they'll call me." He wasn't looking forward to that, retelling the story... expect that part of him sort of wanted to, wanted to look at each of them in the eye and describe, in detail, everything that had been done to his captain and George Kirk on that ship, by those goddamned Romulans.

The file on Pike was even larger, and Bones could recite from memory the various treatments and surgeries that they tried in those days, limping back to Earth, trying to save Pike's life, ecstatic to be able to save his legs.

He leaned in and kissed Jim again. "This time tomorrow, it'll be done. Behind you, okay? Remember that."

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

There was a long silence between them, just the sound of the waves on the beach. He rubbed their foreheads together slowly. "I'm tired, Bones. Tomorrow can't come fast enough." There was nothing at all to say.

[dctr-mccoy.livejournal.com]

Their mouths were so close Bones didn't have to speak above a whisper. "After this is over, I need you to sleep. Eat something." He rubbed Jim's shoulders.

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

"You know I don't control that shit, Bones." He shook his head a little. "I can't. Not yet."

[dctr-mccoy.livejournal.com]

Bones lifted Jim's chin with one finger. He didn't say anything, but the look was enough. Jim might not be able to control his sleep, but Bones could, if he had to.

Then the look softened, as he leaned in for another soft kiss.

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

Bones knew how much Jim hated having his sleep controlled. Hated having to be drugged.

Jim tilted his head so their lips touched. "Need to get a shower and get ready. Join me?"

[dctr-mccoy.livejournal.com]

He nodded. Not much else to do or say, just... be there for Jim, he supposed.

Standing, he brushed the sand off his leg and extended his hand out to Jim. A shower sounded fucking nice right now.

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

Jim stood up, grabbing a handful of his robe. He pulled it on, sliding an arm around Bones while there was no one there to see. It felt good to close his eyes and lean himself a little on Bones.

He looked down at the mug Bones had grabbed, nudged it, and rumbled. "You didn't bring me any."

[dctr-mccoy.livejournal.com]

"I brought some out here," Bones replied, nudging back. "And then I drank it." He felt Jim's weight briefly on him, making him smile and hurt at the same time. He wanted to be the one that Jim leaned on, depended on when life to be too much but - fuck, he didn't like seeing Jim feeling like this.

"I'll make it up to you in the shower," he whispered into Jim's ear, as if the beach was full of people and it was a secret between the two of them.

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

Jim's eyes fluttered closed and he took a slow, shaking breath in through his nose as he felt himself get half-aroused just from that. "Promise?" That... was a very, very good way to forget about the hell the day promised to be for just a few minutes.

"...Plus some coffee afterwards? Please?"

[dctr-mccoy.livejournal.com]

"I always keep my promises," Bones reminded him, his hand sliding around Jim's waist as he pulled him close. A few ideas in his head, how to make that smirk return to Jim's face, at least for a little bit.

"And yeah, coffee too, whatever you need."

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

"Sex, shower, coffee. Not necessarily in that order." Jim leaned more against Bones, toes digging into the sand with each step.

He shook off the best of the sand he could, leaving the robe on the edge of the deck with a potted plant to hold it down. Nude, he walked inside and went straight for the shower, giving Bones a lovely view.

[dctr-mccoy.livejournal.com]

Fuck, it was the best view ever... and Bones followed, closing the door to the deck and pulling off his shorts as he made it to the bathroom, just as Jim got the water going.

He didn't stop walking until he was right behind Jim, their bodies touching from head to toe. He wrapped his arms around Jim and pulled him even closer as the water hit them both, and he attached his mouth to Jim's neck and began suckling rough on the tender skin, somewhere he knew wouldn't be visible under his uniform top.

Jim might have a crappy afternoon testifying, but Bones was going to give him something fucking better to ruminate on right now.

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

How could any man not groan under that sort of assault? Jim's eyes half-closed as heat enveloped him front and back, Bones pressing up against his backside and the strength of those arms all around him. He let his head hang forward, giving Bones access to that skin and everything else he wanted.

He stroked his hands down Bones' forearms, over those skilled surgeon's hands. Part of his mind asked him if there weren't just... insane. That they should have been exhausted after the last few days, after what happened that second night that made the whole thing seem like a dream. No, it just felt too good. How could something that made him feel like this be bad?

[dctr-mccoy.livejournal.com]

The past few days had been... surreal. Bizarre enough that it wasn't casual conversation fodder, but it had been both of them, together, and both of them had agreed to it, consented to what had happened, all of it.

Still, the sexual compulsion had been strong, driving them toward their releases with their partners. The need for sex had been unrelenting, though frankly it didn't take a sex drug to make Bones want to fuck Jim every chance he could.

This was something else - this was his heart, wanting to make Jim feel good, wanting to take away that sadness surrounding him right now. Turning Jim slowly until his back pressed against the tile, Bones leaned in and kissed him, deep and slow, and his hand began roaming down Jim's body, touching him the way he knew Jim liked best.

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

Jim let their mouths play over each other, the slight roughness of Bones' cheek against his, the liquid play of the tips of their tongues. He let himself reach around and pull Bones close by his ass, squeezing what undoubtedly one of his favorite parts of the man against him. He grinned at the thought and moved his head so he could mouth at Bones' jawline, deciding he wanted to watch Bones shave this morning.

He couldn't deal with the straight razor, was grateful he wasn't allergic to suppressors, but watching Bones slowly scrape his jaw clean with that sharp edge in the mornings..

He growled a little at the mental image, nosing under Bones' ear.

[dctr-mccoy.livejournal.com]

He knew enough of Jim's little kinks to know that Jim liked him a little stubbly sometimes. Rubbing himself like a cat against Jim's cheek, Bones darted his tongue behind Jim's ear, curling around the lobe and pulling it between his teeth. 

His fingers curled around Jim's cock. Picturing himself on his knees, sucking Jim off made him groan. "Wanna taste you," he told him, whispering into Jim's ear, his wrist twisting as it gave Jim's cock a tug. 

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

Dammit Bones knew exactly what to say to make him groan. He leaned their heads together, pressing his lips against any skin they could contact. There was the faintest abrasion, but he couldn't complain when it gave him an electric tingle. He gave a lazy pump of his hips, sighing through parted lips. "Yea." Just a single word, edged in a silent plea. There was still a faint, lingering soreness from just how over worked his body had been over the last few days, but he didn't give a damn.

Instead, he nudged at Bones with a knee and his hands, slicking hands down over shoulders and biceps and feeling the hot water running over them. There was a brief, sudden gratefulness for having a real shower which wasn't running on regulated water down here on the planet.

[dctr-mccoy.livejournal.com]

Settling between Jim's legs, Bones licked at the long cock in front of his face, taking it in his mouth with a practiced familiarity borne of knowing the man in front of him so well now. It hadn't gotten old, or boring, and no matter what else seemed to happen between them, they never seemed to stop needing this part of their relationship.

The water hit the back of his head and neck and his arms wrapped around Jim's hips as he pulled it closer, taking as much of him inside his mouth as he could. The scent was pure Jim, musky and warm and as he looked up he sucked harder, wanting to see that spark of need in Jim's eyes.

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

It was all warm and wet. Bones knew how to pleasure him, knew how to tease it out of him even when his mind wasn't fully concentrating on anything. Slowly, probably more slowly than anyone would have expected out of James T. Kirk. He opened his eyes again and looked down, those lips wrapped around him, the expression in Bones' eyes.

He let out a slow breath and stroked his hands through the dark hair, smiling very softly. "...you look so fucking good on your knees." He gave the smallest shift of his hips, licking water from his lips.

[dctr-mccoy.livejournal.com]

The chuckle wrapped around Jim's cock and Bones' eyes laughed as he looked back up at Jim. One hand slid up and cupped Jim's scrotum, tugging a little. His lips moved down off the hard cock and mouthed the sac, pressing in with his nose before swallowing the shaft once more.

He could feel Jim's hips starting to move and he groaned, wanting to feel Jim thrusting into him.