[NVC Day 18] -- [Sometimes All You Can Do is Breathe] -- [Kirk/Bones]

[kirktastic]

After everything that had happened the last few days, whatever had infected him and boiled his blood on top of his stress about the new bond and the trial... Jim was starting to fall back into bad habits Bones had been trying to break of him for years. He didn't want to eat as it only added to the cramping in his stomach, and sleep... it either didn't come, or it came in fits.

There was just too much in his head, spinning endlessly. He sat there on the deck, back up against the wall of the building, with a PADD half propped up in his lap. Why did Vulcans have to be so damn exclusive about things? It was making his search for a healer, something to try and help them figure out what they needed to know about, and what they could do about, the bond. The last thing he needed was information spreading out about what had happened with Spock, honestly wasn't even happy with the idea of being caught going to the healer at all. Caught? What am I, sneaking out of the house? Jim almost laughed to himself.

He closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the wall, thinking. There had to be a way. Bones probably could contact someone, maybe even knew someone who could find someone else, but it had to be someone... they could trust. Maybe, more specifically, someone Jim could trust. This all felt too much like having to go see a psych. Way, way too much like having to see a psych. He'd have to talk to Bones about it, and they'd have to figure it out together. It was the only real chance they had to go about this without half of the planet and the media knowing, at least in Jim's mind.

He didn't want to have to think about what was coming up for the day. They had passed along the information along to him... he would be testifying today. The sheer idea of it had his stomach curling up on itself, the bones in his hand threatening to scream at him. He didn't want to sleep; the idea of nightmares about all that had happened were worse than the nightmares themselves.

At least the sunsets were beautiful on Sha'Kwai. The sunrises, coming up over the ocean, were more so.

He got up and put the PADD side, walking down to the sands and down the sands to the beach and down the beach to the water. He dropped his robe just outside of the water's range, then stepped into the lukewarm water. It felt like almost neutral-temperatured water, like a bath left too cool. He dove into the water.

(OOC: This is running on the premise that the trial was postponed for two days until the sexpop was dealt with, as well as this happens after a tread that will be coming up.)

Comments

[dctr-mccoy.livejournal.com]

"...thought I was s'posed to be takin' care of you this morning," he chuckled, leaning back into Jim's fingertips. So good, the still hot water loosening every muscle, and the strength emanating from the man at his back.

"Not that I'm complaining," he added, closing his eyes and tipping his head back.

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

"You are," Jim murmured, smiling. "I like this... just being able to touch you." He nosed at the back of Bones' shoulder, avoiding suds, as he dug in his fingers like a massage. "There's just... something about this."

[dctr-mccoy.livejournal.com]

Bones snorted to himself. "It's so normal. Nice change of pace for us." He turned his head again, looking for another kiss, and finding it.

But it wasn't quite enough, so he ended up turning his whole body to face Jim, pulling him closer for a deeper kiss. They'd have to get out soon, face the day (and the crowds and the courtroom and the terrible memories of what had happened to Jim) - but for just a few more minutes, all they had to be was what each other needed.

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

There were a few minutes of making out like teenagers at the park mixed with gentle touches and lazy kisses. Somewhere, somehow, in all that they managed to get each other clean. Jim's hand found the water cut off and hit it, and they both tugged in the large white towels that had been provided for them.

Drying each other off was something slow and sweet, lips finding and tasting skin as much as the towels did until they stood leaning into each other in the middle of the bathroom with damp hair and the towels pooled around their feet.

[dctr-mccoy.livejournal.com]

Never could be enough touching, but the clock was against them now. "Got to get you dressed and ready," he murmured. "What do you want for dinner tonight? I'll go get it, have it ready here," he nosed around Jim's ear.

Bones knew Jim wasn't eating until this was all over. Maybe not even then, but fuck, it was worth a try, getting something he liked.

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

"...anything." Jim sighed, nosing back lightly. He parted from Bones, walking out into their bedroom. He dug into the closet, hesitated, then started to pull out and on his uniform. He had to be Captain Kirk today, nothing less. "Could you do me a favor? Could you try to see if you can find a trustworthy Vulcan healer while you're waiting?" It would give Bones at least something to concentrate on other than himself.

[dctr-mccoy.livejournal.com]

Bones turned at that. "Healer... what- is something wrong, Jim?"

He found himself a pair of jeans and a button-down shirt, and began getting dressed, watching Jim carefully doing the same.

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

Jim blinked and looked at Bones in confusion. "...about the bond?" His brows knitted together. They had talked about it, right? He hadn't imagined it?

[dctr-mccoy.livejournal.com]

Oh. "Yeah," Bones nodded, looking down. He'd forgotten, in all the happenings of the past few days, about the bond. It was like the sex drug muted the feelings of the bond inside his head. That, or he was getting really used to the feeling of someone else in his head, and wasn't that fucking scary.

"I wonder-" Bones started, then stopped. Sort of an unspoken rule, they hadn't mentioned the bond, or Spock, in a while. But then again, Jim had brought up the Healer. "I wonder what this felt like for him. You know, the last few days."

Bones glanced over at their bed, very well used during the past week, as he finished buttoning his shirt.

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

Jim almost said he hoped Spock's hand had fallen off he had needed to use it so much. Then again, Nyota probably had already forgiven him. "Probably like nothing at all after pon farr." His voice was a little flat. At least Bones had talked to Spock at the dinner with Sybok after the theater. Jim.. just hadn't been ready to acknowledge him yet.

Jim pulled on the golden command shirt, looking in the mirror above the dresser. "...Wish I had thought about getting my hair cut." He looked a bit scruffy in that department. He slid his thumb along his jaw. At least he didn't need to shave. Thank fuck for supressors. "Just about time for that..." He murmured aloud. Every three months - supressors and the male version of birth control. Easy enough, specially with Bones around.

[dctr-mccoy.livejournal.com]

"I dunno, Jim," Bones replied slow, thinking back at what they'd done. How often they'd done it. Even for them, a pretty sexual couple, the sheer amount of erotic tension, elevated as long as it had been, times the two of them - Bones was pretty sure Spock had to have been suffering some.

Not that he felt bad about that. Not at all. Bastard deserved it.

Stepping up behind Jim, Bones put his hands on Jim's shoulders, looking back at his face in the mirror. "It looks fine, Captain," he told him. A little more golden, curling slightly as it got longer, and felt soft as Bones ran his fingers through the back, combing the strands down into place. "Just tell them what happened. Answer their questions. Come back home to me when its done."

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

His hair always did get lighter when he spent time out in the sun. "...be their golden boy," Jim murmured aloud, staring at himself in the mirror. "I wish I knew what they were expecting. Are they expecting me to be perfect and stone? Or are they looking for a broken man?" His fingers flexed slightly and he sighed. "I'll always come home to you. Promised you that, didn't I?"

[dctr-mccoy.livejournal.com]

Bones looked him in the eye, in the reflection of the mirror. "You're not any of those things, Jim, and you don't have to be." Turning Jim, he faced him, looking into his eyes. "Not made of stone, sure as hell not broken. You're Captain of the Enterprise, and you know how to be that, I've seen you do it every day since they gave you the ship."

He caught the hand, wondering how bad it was hurting. Jim and these damned little bones in his hand. He didn't answer the question, didn't have to. They'd promised each other, that was enough for them. "I'll find us a Healer." Something he could do, some project he could work on today.

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

Couldn't ask for anything more then that. Jim tugged Bones into a brief kiss, then laid their foreheads together. "No going around back this time." They had been pointedly avoiding the media that was practically camped out in front of the building the trial was being held in. This time, Jim knew he would have to go right through them. He couldn't be seen as weak. "Maybe I should take John along as a body guard." He snorted in an almost laugh, but it was too tense.

[dctr-mccoy.livejournal.com]

Bones wasn't laughing. He didn't say anything. Fuck, he should be going along, no matter what the fucking court said. "Can I just walk with you over there at least?"

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

...Bones was using that look on him. That look. Jim couldn't say no to it, even though his stomach clenched with it. "You sure you wanna deal with the media too?" Bones had stayed mostly silent on their return to Earth after the thing with Nero and Vulcan, Jim had dealt with the media the best he could.

[dctr-mccoy.livejournal.com]

No, Bones did not fucking want to deal with the media, but that was beside the point. He only wished he could make them all go away. Today was gonna be hard enough as it was without them.

Hopefully the Vulcans might have some control of the lot of them. It was a small hope. He dug a belt out of the closet and threaded it through his beltloops, buckling it with more concentration than the task really needed.

When Bones finally looked up at Jim, he asked, "You ready?" and reached for his hand.

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

Easy answer. "Fuck no, but let's do it anyway." Jim only squeezed Bones' hand for a second before he let go, then... hesitated.

He looked down at his hand, and said very quietly, "...Bones, how the hell... do I explain the tattoos I kept?"

[dctr-mccoy.livejournal.com]

"Just like you explained it to me, Jim. No one's gonna give you shit about that." How could anyone understand, anyone who hadn't been there, seen it all. "Doesn't make you crazy, if that's what you think."

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

Somehow, Jim wasn't as sure of that 'not crazy' fact as Bones sounded. His hand flexed again and he nodded, heading out the door. He wanted it to be tomorrow already.

The walk there was quiet and all too quick. Out in front was, as predicted, absolute fucking chaos. Jim looked to Bones just once before the media realized just who was there and surrounded them like a pack of wolves.

[dctr-mccoy.livejournal.com]

Fuck, it was like Earth after the Narada incident the first time. Only this time, there weren't Starfleet people there to help them. Just the two of them.

Leaning in close, they put their heads down and made their way through the crowd. Bones was trying not to lose his tempter, that would be bad, but all that mattered was getting Jim inside the building.

With a final push they made it up the stairs, Vulcan security finally creating enough of a wall for them to get inside. "Jesus, why isn't someone taking care of that?" he growled, as close to Jim as he could be without looking improper. "You okay?" he asked, looking over him with his eyes.

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

"I'm fine." Jim's eyes were different then Bones was used to seeing. Harder, almost gray compared to their normal brilliant blue. "I'll see you back at the hotel?" He finally really looked at Bones for a second, their fingers brushing but unable to grasp for each other in this of all places.

[dctr-mccoy.livejournal.com]

"Yeah," he told him, letting his index finger linger, pressed it against Jim's before letting go. Fuck what anyone thought.

Bones start walking, heading out the back door this time. A few steps and he stopped, turning to look back. "Give 'em hell, Jim."

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

"Yea." Jim nodded once, then turned and went into the courtroom. Give 'em hell... right now, it was all he could do to breathe. (http://kirktastic.livejournal.com/46520.html)