[NVC Day 18] -- [Sometimes All You Can Do is Breathe] -- [Kirk/Bones]

[kirktastic]

After everything that had happened the last few days, whatever had infected him and boiled his blood on top of his stress about the new bond and the trial... Jim was starting to fall back into bad habits Bones had been trying to break of him for years. He didn't want to eat as it only added to the cramping in his stomach, and sleep... it either didn't come, or it came in fits.

There was just too much in his head, spinning endlessly. He sat there on the deck, back up against the wall of the building, with a PADD half propped up in his lap. Why did Vulcans have to be so damn exclusive about things? It was making his search for a healer, something to try and help them figure out what they needed to know about, and what they could do about, the bond. The last thing he needed was information spreading out about what had happened with Spock, honestly wasn't even happy with the idea of being caught going to the healer at all. Caught? What am I, sneaking out of the house? Jim almost laughed to himself.

He closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the wall, thinking. There had to be a way. Bones probably could contact someone, maybe even knew someone who could find someone else, but it had to be someone... they could trust. Maybe, more specifically, someone Jim could trust. This all felt too much like having to go see a psych. Way, way too much like having to see a psych. He'd have to talk to Bones about it, and they'd have to figure it out together. It was the only real chance they had to go about this without half of the planet and the media knowing, at least in Jim's mind.

He didn't want to have to think about what was coming up for the day. They had passed along the information along to him... he would be testifying today. The sheer idea of it had his stomach curling up on itself, the bones in his hand threatening to scream at him. He didn't want to sleep; the idea of nightmares about all that had happened were worse than the nightmares themselves.

At least the sunsets were beautiful on Sha'Kwai. The sunrises, coming up over the ocean, were more so.

He got up and put the PADD side, walking down to the sands and down the sands to the beach and down the beach to the water. He dropped his robe just outside of the water's range, then stepped into the lukewarm water. It felt like almost neutral-temperatured water, like a bath left too cool. He dove into the water.

(OOC: This is running on the premise that the trial was postponed for two days until the sexpop was dealt with, as well as this happens after a tread that will be coming up.)

Comments

[dctr-mccoy.livejournal.com]

The feeling, his body being spread and opened - it always make him catch his breath, made his eyes widen. Too full, almost too much sensation down there, until his muscles gave way and it was good, the slow slide of Jim along his passage.

Bones leaned back, pushing back against Jim, letting him know with his body that he wanted more as he braced himself against the wall.

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

Jim smiled against the back-side of Bones' neck, biting down gently before he started to move. The slow push-pull of their bodies moving together, like the world outside had stopped existing just for a little while. He could just be Jim and the man he was fucking slow into the wall could just be Bones. The release of those positions and stresses felt better than the feeling of Bones wrapped around him. Jim was pretty sure that was Bones' whole idea behind this.

[dctr-mccoy.livejournal.com]

Sometimes it was rough and tumble between them, sometimes it was fast and quick in the morning before shift. But when it was slow like this Bones got to feel everything, had time to really savor the experience and he loved it. The feel of Jim behind him, warm breath on his neck, Jim's hands all over his body - fuck, maybe sex wasn't the only thing in a relationship but they communicated so good when it was like this, nothing between them but water.

He reached down and squeezed his own cock, groaning at the feel of Jim shifting behind him, changing angles as he hit that spot.

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

When they needed to, they could talk to each other, and that was what let Jim be less concerned that this was the only way they could communicate. They worked well together, kept the crew together, loved each other. They could handle it, as long as they were together.

Jim laid his forehead against the back of Bones' shoulder, eyes closed as he moved. The heat finally drove away some of the ache that had been in his hand since before the trial had started, letting him slide it around and feel where Bones' hand moved over his cock.

[dctr-mccoy.livejournal.com]

Bones' fingers wrapped around Jim's and he guided Jim how he wanted it right now, short strokes that tugged on him more roughly than Jim might have expected but fuck, he couldn't think straight when he had Jim's hand on him and his cock up his ass.

It didn't take long before he felt it building inside him, stirring in his belly and finally jetting out of him, mixing with the hot water on Jim's hand as he grunted softly to himself, head pressed against the tile.

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

Bones was never much of a screamer in bed (though just a few days ago he had heard Bones get as close as the doctor was ever going to get to it..) but the sounds he did make were raw, deep sounds that had always turned Jim on. Specially back in their dorm room when Bones would go at it with his hand in the middle of the night when he had thought Jim was asleep... laying in the dark listening to--

Jim gasped loudly and his eyes squeezed shut, hips giving a few quick jerks before he pressed against Bones and held himself there. He held tightly to Bones, knees shaking just slightly as he leaned into Bones' solid weight being held up by the wall.

[dctr-mccoy.livejournal.com]

It wasn't easy with the angle, but Bones was able to lean back and turn his head enough find Jim's temple with his mouth. "I needed that," he said quietly into Jim's skin, like an admission of some sort. Somewhere inside, he had needed this, just them, simple and honest. Maybe he began this wanting to help Jim, with his terrible day ahead of him but somewhere in there - Bones realized this was as much for him as well.

Their hands were clasped together tight and Bones took a deep breath, letting it go slow. His legs were cramping and the water was stinging hitting his eyes but he didn't want to move.

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

"...Me too." Jim whispered, squeezing Bones' hand hard. Eventually, slowly, he pulled himself back and straightened up, grabbing the shampoo and pouring some into his hands. He slid them through Bones' hair, scratching his nails lightly against the scalp. "Eyes closed." He murmured quietly.

[dctr-mccoy.livejournal.com]

"...thought I was s'posed to be takin' care of you this morning," he chuckled, leaning back into Jim's fingertips. So good, the still hot water loosening every muscle, and the strength emanating from the man at his back.

"Not that I'm complaining," he added, closing his eyes and tipping his head back.

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

"You are," Jim murmured, smiling. "I like this... just being able to touch you." He nosed at the back of Bones' shoulder, avoiding suds, as he dug in his fingers like a massage. "There's just... something about this."

[dctr-mccoy.livejournal.com]

Bones snorted to himself. "It's so normal. Nice change of pace for us." He turned his head again, looking for another kiss, and finding it.

But it wasn't quite enough, so he ended up turning his whole body to face Jim, pulling him closer for a deeper kiss. They'd have to get out soon, face the day (and the crowds and the courtroom and the terrible memories of what had happened to Jim) - but for just a few more minutes, all they had to be was what each other needed.

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

There were a few minutes of making out like teenagers at the park mixed with gentle touches and lazy kisses. Somewhere, somehow, in all that they managed to get each other clean. Jim's hand found the water cut off and hit it, and they both tugged in the large white towels that had been provided for them.

Drying each other off was something slow and sweet, lips finding and tasting skin as much as the towels did until they stood leaning into each other in the middle of the bathroom with damp hair and the towels pooled around their feet.

[dctr-mccoy.livejournal.com]

Never could be enough touching, but the clock was against them now. "Got to get you dressed and ready," he murmured. "What do you want for dinner tonight? I'll go get it, have it ready here," he nosed around Jim's ear.

Bones knew Jim wasn't eating until this was all over. Maybe not even then, but fuck, it was worth a try, getting something he liked.

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

"...anything." Jim sighed, nosing back lightly. He parted from Bones, walking out into their bedroom. He dug into the closet, hesitated, then started to pull out and on his uniform. He had to be Captain Kirk today, nothing less. "Could you do me a favor? Could you try to see if you can find a trustworthy Vulcan healer while you're waiting?" It would give Bones at least something to concentrate on other than himself.

[dctr-mccoy.livejournal.com]

Bones turned at that. "Healer... what- is something wrong, Jim?"

He found himself a pair of jeans and a button-down shirt, and began getting dressed, watching Jim carefully doing the same.

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

Jim blinked and looked at Bones in confusion. "...about the bond?" His brows knitted together. They had talked about it, right? He hadn't imagined it?

[dctr-mccoy.livejournal.com]

Oh. "Yeah," Bones nodded, looking down. He'd forgotten, in all the happenings of the past few days, about the bond. It was like the sex drug muted the feelings of the bond inside his head. That, or he was getting really used to the feeling of someone else in his head, and wasn't that fucking scary.

"I wonder-" Bones started, then stopped. Sort of an unspoken rule, they hadn't mentioned the bond, or Spock, in a while. But then again, Jim had brought up the Healer. "I wonder what this felt like for him. You know, the last few days."

Bones glanced over at their bed, very well used during the past week, as he finished buttoning his shirt.

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

Jim almost said he hoped Spock's hand had fallen off he had needed to use it so much. Then again, Nyota probably had already forgiven him. "Probably like nothing at all after pon farr." His voice was a little flat. At least Bones had talked to Spock at the dinner with Sybok after the theater. Jim.. just hadn't been ready to acknowledge him yet.

Jim pulled on the golden command shirt, looking in the mirror above the dresser. "...Wish I had thought about getting my hair cut." He looked a bit scruffy in that department. He slid his thumb along his jaw. At least he didn't need to shave. Thank fuck for supressors. "Just about time for that..." He murmured aloud. Every three months - supressors and the male version of birth control. Easy enough, specially with Bones around.

[dctr-mccoy.livejournal.com]

"I dunno, Jim," Bones replied slow, thinking back at what they'd done. How often they'd done it. Even for them, a pretty sexual couple, the sheer amount of erotic tension, elevated as long as it had been, times the two of them - Bones was pretty sure Spock had to have been suffering some.

Not that he felt bad about that. Not at all. Bastard deserved it.

Stepping up behind Jim, Bones put his hands on Jim's shoulders, looking back at his face in the mirror. "It looks fine, Captain," he told him. A little more golden, curling slightly as it got longer, and felt soft as Bones ran his fingers through the back, combing the strands down into place. "Just tell them what happened. Answer their questions. Come back home to me when its done."

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

His hair always did get lighter when he spent time out in the sun. "...be their golden boy," Jim murmured aloud, staring at himself in the mirror. "I wish I knew what they were expecting. Are they expecting me to be perfect and stone? Or are they looking for a broken man?" His fingers flexed slightly and he sighed. "I'll always come home to you. Promised you that, didn't I?"

[dctr-mccoy.livejournal.com]

Bones looked him in the eye, in the reflection of the mirror. "You're not any of those things, Jim, and you don't have to be." Turning Jim, he faced him, looking into his eyes. "Not made of stone, sure as hell not broken. You're Captain of the Enterprise, and you know how to be that, I've seen you do it every day since they gave you the ship."

He caught the hand, wondering how bad it was hurting. Jim and these damned little bones in his hand. He didn't answer the question, didn't have to. They'd promised each other, that was enough for them. "I'll find us a Healer." Something he could do, some project he could work on today.

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

Couldn't ask for anything more then that. Jim tugged Bones into a brief kiss, then laid their foreheads together. "No going around back this time." They had been pointedly avoiding the media that was practically camped out in front of the building the trial was being held in. This time, Jim knew he would have to go right through them. He couldn't be seen as weak. "Maybe I should take John along as a body guard." He snorted in an almost laugh, but it was too tense.

[dctr-mccoy.livejournal.com]

Bones wasn't laughing. He didn't say anything. Fuck, he should be going along, no matter what the fucking court said. "Can I just walk with you over there at least?"

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

...Bones was using that look on him. That look. Jim couldn't say no to it, even though his stomach clenched with it. "You sure you wanna deal with the media too?" Bones had stayed mostly silent on their return to Earth after the thing with Nero and Vulcan, Jim had dealt with the media the best he could.

[dctr-mccoy.livejournal.com]

No, Bones did not fucking want to deal with the media, but that was beside the point. He only wished he could make them all go away. Today was gonna be hard enough as it was without them.

Hopefully the Vulcans might have some control of the lot of them. It was a small hope. He dug a belt out of the closet and threaded it through his beltloops, buckling it with more concentration than the task really needed.

When Bones finally looked up at Jim, he asked, "You ready?" and reached for his hand.