[Cabin, Risa] -- [Kirk and Bones]

[kirktastic]

Kirk came back from the beach still damp but uncaring. He pulled up to the cabin, hesitating only long enough to make sure the leather seat of the cycle was dried before he went to find Bones. There was a lot they needed to talk about. More then he thought he wanted to, but knew he had to.

"Bones?"

Comments

[dctr-mccoy.livejournal.com]

Talking... A tightness formed in Bones' stomach, wondering what sort of talking it had been - or if that was one of Jim's euphemisms for something else. "I was chatting myself the other day, yesterday maybe, I don't even remember, with Leonard. Interesting fellow," he added, knowing that eventually it would come out, whatever Jim needed to say.

He just needed to give him the time and space to get it out. "Everything alright with Jim?"

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

"Yea. We talked about what happened the other night, how awkward it was..." He smiled a little with that, "We fixed it I think, though. I'm glad. Its weird, being upset with yourself."

[dctr-mccoy.livejournal.com]

"Awkward?" Bones repeated, looking outside at the water.

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

"Yea. Afterwards he just... he got all weirded out about Spock and went and saw him." A small laugh, "Got to see Spock cuddled up to himself. Kinda cute, in a fucking weird way."

[dctr-mccoy.livejournal.com]

Afterwards... Folding his hands in front of him, Bones just sat there. He'd been wrong, maybe he didn't want to hear more about this conversation.

And Spock? Cuddling himself? Fuck, him too? He shook his head slightly, chuckling to himself. Were they all fucking crazy but him?

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

"Don't ask me about it because I have no clue." A laugh, "It was surreal, seriously. Spock sleeps very..." He mimicked curling up, "Like this. The other Spock was all curled around him."

[dctr-mccoy.livejournal.com]

"Trust me, I'm not askin'..." Bones retorted quickly, a bitter edge to his voice. Did he really think he wanted to know about this?

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

Something... wasn't right. Kirk looked to his friend, blinking slightly. "...Hey, Bones? What's up?" He urged a little, trying to figure it out.

[dctr-mccoy.livejournal.com]

"I don't know, Jim, what is up?" Bones asked, turning back to look at Jim. "You walk in here like the world's on your shoulders, then you start talking 'bout... shit, I don't even know." He exhaled, trying not to lose his temper. "I thought you had problems, not gossip."

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

Okay, definitely something wrong. This wasn't normal grumpy-Bones, this was... actually angry-Bones. "Bones, come on, talk to me. What's wrong?" He honestly couldn't remember the last time he saw actual anger from his friend. It made every bit of him arch up in defensive mode.

[dctr-mccoy.livejournal.com]

"Just drop it, Jim," he muttered, not wanting to get into this, especially if Jim hadn't picked up on it yet.


Bones stood, heading to the kitchen. "C'mon, just - go send a message to your friends, tell them we'll be over later."

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

"No." Kirk reached over and grasped Bones' wrist, tugging on it to turn his friend around. "Bones, talk to me. What the fuck is wrong?"

[dctr-mccoy.livejournal.com]

"I don't want to hear about you and Jim," Bones spat back, pulling his wrist away. "If that's all right with you."

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

"What the fuck, you didn't have any problem about it when I talked about it before." Kirk snapped, anger bubbling up in him. What the hell problem did Bones suddenly have?!

This... wasn't the way he thought this would go, from how Jim had talked on the beach. He just wanted to talk to Bones...

[dctr-mccoy.livejournal.com]

"Doesn't mean I like having my nose rubbed in it," he replied back just as sharply. "I mean, fuck, Jim... what about that is so hard to understand?"

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

A sharp breath in, and Kirk's fingers fisted at his side. "Fuck, Bones, you're the one who asked me what I was doing, what my problems were!" His teeth showed a little, unable to stop himself from rising to the challenge.

[dctr-mccoy.livejournal.com]

"Well then I guess I'm sorry I asked. My fault, all of it," he sneered. "I thought maybe it was something I could help with, or I dunno, take care of for you."

He shook his head, turning away again. "Sorry, I can't help much with awkward experiences you might run into when you're off fuckin' around."

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

A slow breath in, and everything caved in hot and thick in his stomach. "You knew who I was, who I am, Bones. You're the one that chose me. Yea, I fucked Jim before."

[dctr-mccoy.livejournal.com]

"Yeah, I know who you are," he said back just as fast, swallowing the hurt that was building up inside him. "And I know what you do. I know."

He looked back up at Jim for a moment, then outside again. "I just thought I'd have a couple more days before I had to deal with it, Jim," he said with a shrug, his voice sort of dead.

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

"That's not gonna make it any better..." Kirk just turned away entirely, feeling it, feeling it dissolving in his hands. Everything. "I don't get you. You know it won't be any different later, I'm still gonna be me, and you fucking... you start THIS..."

This was why he didn't want to get into this. This was why he didn't want to get into a relationship. This was why he wasn't supposed to have them.

[dctr-mccoy.livejournal.com]

"Have I asked you to change?" Bones turned back to him. "Have I asked you to do one damned thing different?"

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

"...you're pissed off because I slept with Jim. That's asking me to change if I wanna be with you because the last thing I want you to be is unhappy." Was all Kirk said, so very softly.

[dctr-mccoy.livejournal.com]

Yeah, it was different for Jim. Sex wasn't the same thing for Jim. He'd heard all this before...

Didn't want to make him unhappy... Bones stared back at him incredulously. Jim honestly didn't understand where he was coming from.

Well, fuck this shit. "And you want me not to be pissed. Okay. You win. You want to talk? Let's talk." Bones walked back to the bed, and sat down. "C'mon, talk about it, tell me everything." The look on his face was calm, almost placid. "Who else have you fucked since we've been here?" he asked, conversationally. "Anyone I know? Was it any good?"

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

So, so confused. The anger fell out of him, mutating into a pure honest confusion. Kirk didn't understand relationships. He didn't do them, didn't deal with them, but for Bones... he had been trying. Was trying, right now, standing here trying to do this instead of running. That was what he was supposed to do, right?

So, he did what he thought was right - and told the truth. "Since we got here? You, and Marlena, and curled up against Spock but we had our clothes on."

[dctr-mccoy.livejournal.com]

Marlena?

Well fuck. Bones sighed, looking down at his feet. He'd known it was coming, known that it was going to happen. Planned for it, hardened himself against whatever natural inclinations he had, namely to beat the shit out of Jim and then go drown himself in that ocean out there. No, he wasn't going to do that.

Instead Bones walked to his travel bag, found the bottle of Beam he'd brought along but hadn't yet touched on this trip. Daddy'd been a Johnny Walker guy, but Bones drank Beam, straight from the bottle on the really good days, like this...

One look back at Jim, and he headed outside. He sat down on the deck, took a long pull, and stared out into the water.