James T. Kirk

"Heaven knows, we don't want that. We want to get her all hot and bothered." Scotty was visibly trying to hold his grin in. "Mhmm, you got any ideas?"

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"Mm, not sure..." He gestured, "But I'm sure you more than know how to get a ship all stirred up and get her shields down, right?"

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Scotty felt his face burning again. Damn it.

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Keenser grinned and pressed a thumb against Scott's cheek. He was fond of that blush, damn it. "It's his hands." He told Kirk gravely. "Scott is good with his hands."

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Kirk had no idea about the relationship between the two, so Keenser getting in on the fun made him laugh, "Oh, I bet. An engineer's gotta be good with his hands. Skilled and flexible."

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...Did the Captain know? Scotty couldn't help but turn even more like a tomato and squeak out an awkwardly weak "Yes.".

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"Creative, too." Keenser really shouldn't find Scott's discomfort as amusing as he did. The gentle press of his thumb traveled across his cheek, up to the wrinkles at the corner of his eye, and he smirked, knowingly. The Captain wouldn't know, but Scott knew full well exactly what those wrinkles did to him.

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What was the little tree-man doing? Must have been something... alien. Scotty seemed okay with it. "Course, creative. Captains and engineers alike," He winked.

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And boy did he know. Scotty started at the sudden touch, but soon relaxed under Keenser's thumb. In the end, the result was forgetting all about the Captain for a moment and looking a bit slackjawed.

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...

The feeling he was missing something was suddenly getting very strong. "...If you two are busy, I could come back later.." He started to get up.

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Really, how could Keenser resist that look? He couldn't. He had to press a quick kiss against those sweetly parted lips; he had no choice.

He pulled away after a brief moment and glanced at the Captain, sidelong. "Dunno. We busy, Scott?"

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Oh right, the Captain. Scotty flushed harder and began fiddling absentmindedly with his hands, he always got a bit fidgety after a hot kiss like that. "No, no we're not busy! Keenser, you're getting grabby again. Don't worry about it, sir. My boyfriend gets a bit grabby sometimes when I get embarrassed."

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Did...?

Scotty and Keenser...?

They...

HOW...?

Jim just stared at the two of them, not sure what to say, or do.

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Keenser snorted. "Stop blushing, then. You know the blush is on the List." Still, he managed to restrain himself. Though he'd like to give Scott something to really blush about, the Captain was right there. Staring rather blatantly, actually. He tilted his chin at a vaguely challenging angle. "Problem? Sir?"

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"...No, no problem..." Kirk glanced between the two. "...are you two... together?" He tried to imagine how, but his mind just could not figure it out. Keener was... small and... wood.

Wooden.

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Scotty took a deep breath. "Yeah. We are." he offered, bravely.

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Keenser grinned at his friend. He didn't think he'd ever tire of hearing Scott say that.

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A look at Scotty.

A look at Keenser.

...

Head tilt.

"...Do you get splinters?" He finally asked Scotty.

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"What?" Scotty was shocked as he could be.

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A gesture between them. "...You two." A gesture at Keenser. "He's a tree."

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Keenser stared, face impassive. "I am not a tree." He said flatly. "My mother is a tree. One day I'll be a tree. But now, I am Trefallan." He wasn't actually offended. Sometimes, he just liked to mess with people. Scott was the only one who could ever tell the difference.

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Scotty struggled to keep a straight face after that one.

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"...Sorry, but you're still a tree." Kirk tried to give a calming smile, "I don't know anything about your people..."

A glance between the two. "Seriously, can you two really actually HAVE sex?"

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"Really? You don't know anything about the non-human species who are members of your crew? Or is it just my people you know nothing about?" He was still joking, though his face remained about as expressive as stone, but a tiny kernel of truth had crept into the joke. Keenser firmly shoved it aside. The Captain had been busy, of course. This ship was after all, as Scott had once described it, exciting. Of course he hadn't had the chance to look through the Federation Races section of the Xenobiological Database.

Keenser turned his thoughts, instead, toward the infinitely more pleasant contemplation of Scott and sex. "Oh yes." Keenser replied "We have fantastic sex."

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