James T. Kirk

"...Sorry, but you're still a tree." Kirk tried to give a calming smile, "I don't know anything about your people..."

A glance between the two. "Seriously, can you two really actually HAVE sex?"

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"Really? You don't know anything about the non-human species who are members of your crew? Or is it just my people you know nothing about?" He was still joking, though his face remained about as expressive as stone, but a tiny kernel of truth had crept into the joke. Keenser firmly shoved it aside. The Captain had been busy, of course. This ship was after all, as Scott had once described it, exciting. Of course he hadn't had the chance to look through the Federation Races section of the Xenobiological Database.

Keenser turned his thoughts, instead, toward the infinitely more pleasant contemplation of Scott and sex. "Oh yes." Keenser replied "We have fantastic sex."

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"Hey!" Protesting, "I know quite a bit about most of the races on my ship, but your species in particular has next to nothing about it in the database!"

The latter part of that spun his head. "...but.. HOW?"

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"How do you think, Mr. I Read The Database?" Scotty said, taking a look over at Keenser and giving a big loopy grin.

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"Pollen slits." Keenser elaborated, returning Scott's grin with a slightly more lascivious one of his own. "And penises. They're surprisingly compatible."

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Pollen slits? Kirk mouthed the words, shocked. He looked a little over Keenser, trying to understand.

Pollen slits.

Keenser was a god damn tree.

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"You okay, Captain? You look like a fish out of water, Sir." Scotty said worriedly.

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"But you're only like, three feet tall!" He breathed out at Keenser. The very idea was just... confusing.

Alien sex, after all, was something he was always curious about.

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Keenser stared at Kirk in a way that suggested he thought Kirk was a very special type of idiot. "Four feet, four inches." He corrected, dryly. "Doesn't matter when you're on your back, though," he pointed out reasonably.

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Well, Keenser was a very special type of ...tree.

"Sorry, just not every day you learn that someone you didn't think did actually does have sex," He laughed, eyes bright. "So where are they?"

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Keenser shot a 'what the hell' glance at Scott. Wordlessly, he removed his left glove and pushed up his sleeve. Palm up, he bared the smooth underside of his forearm for scrutiny. His pollen slit was barely visible as a thin, tight seam in the smooth, leathery bark that ran from the base of his wrist to his mid-forearm, roughly an inch and a half from the crease of his inner elbow.

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Scotty just glanced over at Keenser and sheepishly smiled at the what the hell. "Settle your curiosity, Captain?"

He glanced down at the exposed slit, and started to flush again. Damn his face, it always betrayed him. Right now, he was starting to feel a little giddy.

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Kirk leaned in close to check out the slit, interested. Well fuck him running... "So does that mean you're female?" he asked curiously of Keenser, brows shooting up. It looked too thin for a dick to get in th--

Well, Scotty... maybe the man didn't have much? Or maybe it was all about rubbing?

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Scotty just dropped his jaw and was flabbergasted. He flipped over to check Keenser's face. Yep, there was the "You moron" face again.

"Anybody bother to teach you manners, you lout? For the record, Keenser is genderless and prefers male pronouns." Scotty turned to address Keenser. "Sorry." A quick peck on the lips for all the trouble the captain put them through.

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"Pollen slits aren't like penises or vaginas. They're their own thing." Keenser explained, with the long-suffering air of one all too used to explaining his own basic biology to satisfy idle curiosity.

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Kirk waved a hand, speaking to Scotty, "It's called I'm learning. I saw the skill in him, enough to ask him to be part of my crew. Genderless, huh? Interesting. Always said 'he', I didn't want to be using the wrong thing."

He grinned to Scotty, "No, no one taught me manners. You gonna teach me?" He almost purred it. "Maybe you, Keen?"

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Scotty just rolled his eyes. "What, do you want me to?"

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Keenser tilted his chin at a distinctly sarcastic angle. "What if I actually was female?" he asked. "Seems like the kind of thing you should find out. Earlier than eight months down the line, I mean."

He shot a sly, crafty look at Scott, and said, exaggeratedly offhand, "Unless you were waiting for a... personal examination"

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Scotty shot a You're sure you want to fuck him? look to Keenser.

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Keenser shrugged. I'm in if you are, he shot back.

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Well, he is attractive for an ass, you know? Scotty blinked twice innocently.

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Keenser smirked, then made a not bad, I guess. face. After an exaggerated moment of contemplation, he ran an appreciative gaze over first Scott, then Kirk. Not bad, he repeated the look.

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What are you thinking? Scotty furrowed his brow.

Then he leaned in and prepared to give Keenser a proper kiss.

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Keenser's grin turned wicked as he accepted the kiss, keeping it hard and deep, but brief. Breaking the kiss, but keeping the proximity (because damnit, it felt nice), he shot a challenging look over at Kirk. Well? he seemed to say.

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