James T. Kirk

Oh right, the Captain. Scotty flushed harder and began fiddling absentmindedly with his hands, he always got a bit fidgety after a hot kiss like that. "No, no we're not busy! Keenser, you're getting grabby again. Don't worry about it, sir. My boyfriend gets a bit grabby sometimes when I get embarrassed."

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Did...?

Scotty and Keenser...?

They...

HOW...?

Jim just stared at the two of them, not sure what to say, or do.

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Keenser snorted. "Stop blushing, then. You know the blush is on the List." Still, he managed to restrain himself. Though he'd like to give Scott something to really blush about, the Captain was right there. Staring rather blatantly, actually. He tilted his chin at a vaguely challenging angle. "Problem? Sir?"

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"...No, no problem..." Kirk glanced between the two. "...are you two... together?" He tried to imagine how, but his mind just could not figure it out. Keener was... small and... wood.

Wooden.

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Scotty took a deep breath. "Yeah. We are." he offered, bravely.

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Keenser grinned at his friend. He didn't think he'd ever tire of hearing Scott say that.

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A look at Scotty.

A look at Keenser.

...

Head tilt.

"...Do you get splinters?" He finally asked Scotty.

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"What?" Scotty was shocked as he could be.

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A gesture between them. "...You two." A gesture at Keenser. "He's a tree."

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Keenser stared, face impassive. "I am not a tree." He said flatly. "My mother is a tree. One day I'll be a tree. But now, I am Trefallan." He wasn't actually offended. Sometimes, he just liked to mess with people. Scott was the only one who could ever tell the difference.

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Scotty struggled to keep a straight face after that one.

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"...Sorry, but you're still a tree." Kirk tried to give a calming smile, "I don't know anything about your people..."

A glance between the two. "Seriously, can you two really actually HAVE sex?"

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"Really? You don't know anything about the non-human species who are members of your crew? Or is it just my people you know nothing about?" He was still joking, though his face remained about as expressive as stone, but a tiny kernel of truth had crept into the joke. Keenser firmly shoved it aside. The Captain had been busy, of course. This ship was after all, as Scott had once described it, exciting. Of course he hadn't had the chance to look through the Federation Races section of the Xenobiological Database.

Keenser turned his thoughts, instead, toward the infinitely more pleasant contemplation of Scott and sex. "Oh yes." Keenser replied "We have fantastic sex."

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"Hey!" Protesting, "I know quite a bit about most of the races on my ship, but your species in particular has next to nothing about it in the database!"

The latter part of that spun his head. "...but.. HOW?"

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"How do you think, Mr. I Read The Database?" Scotty said, taking a look over at Keenser and giving a big loopy grin.

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"Pollen slits." Keenser elaborated, returning Scott's grin with a slightly more lascivious one of his own. "And penises. They're surprisingly compatible."

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Pollen slits? Kirk mouthed the words, shocked. He looked a little over Keenser, trying to understand.

Pollen slits.

Keenser was a god damn tree.

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"You okay, Captain? You look like a fish out of water, Sir." Scotty said worriedly.

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"But you're only like, three feet tall!" He breathed out at Keenser. The very idea was just... confusing.

Alien sex, after all, was something he was always curious about.

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Keenser stared at Kirk in a way that suggested he thought Kirk was a very special type of idiot. "Four feet, four inches." He corrected, dryly. "Doesn't matter when you're on your back, though," he pointed out reasonably.

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Well, Keenser was a very special type of ...tree.

"Sorry, just not every day you learn that someone you didn't think did actually does have sex," He laughed, eyes bright. "So where are they?"

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Keenser shot a 'what the hell' glance at Scott. Wordlessly, he removed his left glove and pushed up his sleeve. Palm up, he bared the smooth underside of his forearm for scrutiny. His pollen slit was barely visible as a thin, tight seam in the smooth, leathery bark that ran from the base of his wrist to his mid-forearm, roughly an inch and a half from the crease of his inner elbow.

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Scotty just glanced over at Keenser and sheepishly smiled at the what the hell. "Settle your curiosity, Captain?"

He glanced down at the exposed slit, and started to flush again. Damn his face, it always betrayed him. Right now, he was starting to feel a little giddy.

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Kirk leaned in close to check out the slit, interested. Well fuck him running... "So does that mean you're female?" he asked curiously of Keenser, brows shooting up. It looked too thin for a dick to get in th--

Well, Scotty... maybe the man didn't have much? Or maybe it was all about rubbing?

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