[Day 9 NVC] -- [All Things Must Come to an End] -- [Spock, Bones, and Jim]

[kirktastic]

Jim's body was nearing the end of its limits. He knew Bones wasn't doing much better, despite them patching each other up. Trying to get proper food in both of them had been less than easy - no replicators in the house. Sleep kept getting interrupted, and Spock was anything but gentle each time as the bond was getting tighter and tighter.

He could feel Spock in his head all the time, now. It made him uncomfortable, twitchy, and almost nauseous. This thing he hadn't asked for, didn't want.

He sat on the edge of the bed in the second bedroom, staring at the wall. Bones was asleep behind him, a slow deep breathing, and thank fuck so was Spock. Spock had passed out beside Nyota hours and hours ago, and Jim had taken it to try and sleep beside Bones.

...Except he couldn't. Too much was going through his head, over and over on replay. His head throbbed, like a muscle that had been over-exercised. The feeling of something... that feeling of something... it was clearer, now.

He knew he had to answer it, soon. He planned to talk to Bones when he woke up. There was... a lot they needed to talk about.

Comments

[cso-spock.livejournal.com]

His body had been telling him for hours that it was time to rest, that he had done all he could to ensure the continuation of his line, and now it was time to rest and trust in the security of his mates. So he had slipped in against Nyota and slept—and slept, and slept. The bonds couldn’t be held any closer than he was holding them, three minds just on the other side of the chasm. It soothed the last of the fever and the flame. With that gone, the structure and rationality of his mind began to creep back into place, settling into old imprints like shadows of furniture on a thick rug.

Spock woke all at once, the last traces of instinct wanting to make sure that he was still safe and that his momentary lull in attention hadn’t compromised the safety of he or his mate. Then, more habit than instinct: , he thought to himself, and wandered into the master bathroom, still relatively gleaming and clean as he had remembered it, save for the shower door that was open and a missing towel on the rack. ?? Not an asymmetrical design towel missing no logical use elsewhere…

He stepped into the shower and turned the water on to something hot, even for his skin. Something to help scrub the last few days from his body. Something to calm him, so he could feel comfortable in his own body again. Breathe… install clock in the bathroom later…

His gaze lingered on a corner of the shower for a long time, taking in the feel of the water and the heat, letting his mind wander, check itself—

Realization sliced into him like claws. Vague memories rushed forward and with them a sharp pain, recalling bits and pieces of his own savagery all at once. Nothing more than tight tight soft mine, blending together into a dizzying mix that had him leaning against the shower wall for support. In hindsight, this would’ve been acceptable if that was it. No—his memories began to separate amongst themselves, definitive memories of appreciation regarding nice hands, strong bodies, sharp kisses, struggles, and eventual animalistic domination. His mind switched rapidly between Leonard and Jim, fear and ignorant guilt choking off any other thoughts. ??hurt? awake? alive? mine??

He could feel that Jim was awake, their connection more active than the others. Yet it was beyond his concentration to get a word over to him, if he even could, if what he had laid down was strong enough for that, so he just tugged it tight and pushed feeling through it (like jabbing a pineapple through a straw). After turning off the faucet, still dripping, he left the bathroom and went off to find the ones he had hurt, the ones he hadn’t planned on, the ones he shouldn’t have (but wanted, didn’t want to give back, his now always his).

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

Jim felt something change, but what it wasn't he didn't know. He was frowning over it, trying to understand that little... almost prickling feeling when a rush of pure emotion came, too fast to understand.

Then there was pain. It felt like something stabbed straight into his brain and exploded outwards. Jim didn't even hear his own ragged sound as he hit his knees, bending over and clutching at his own head until tears prickled at his eyes. He gasped for air, head screaming at him as the headache became an all consuming migraine.

He barely managed to tilt his head to see a shadowy figure in the dim doorway through little pain-sparkles of light. "No." It was only a rough gasp. Spock was there, wet and crackling. No more... fuck he couldn't take that right now.

Except Bones was right there. Bones didn't need to anymore than he did. Jim started to force himself up, except every bit of him was screaming to stop when each movement of his head brought pain with it.

[cso-spock.livejournal.com]

The only other experience he had had with horror and misunderstanding all channeled towards himself was when he had watched Vulcan collapse in on itself. It was much the same feeling, though now sharper and more personal than what he remembered.

“I—” It didn’t occur to him that it was his urgency that was making Jim collapse, just that he saw his captain in pain with bruises, fresh and old, on his skin in places that he himself would have logically held. “Jim—” Spock rushed forward, and the moment he had his hands on Jim’s shoulders what had been forced through the bond was channeled direct to the intended receiver. Jimhurt?injured?Jimsorrysorrynointentionminehurtsafe?hurt?

“Jim...”

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

Oh fuck that made everything about a thousand times worse. A quiet whimper actually left him as he tried to pull away from Spock, wanting to get away from the rawness of that voice that felt like razor blades. He caught words... not just mental words.

Physical words. Spock had barely spoken at all during pon farr, 99% growls and sounds and mental instead.

getawayGetAwayprotectbonesPAINfuckfucknomoreplease

[cso-spock.livejournal.com]

"Jim." His fingers tightened on Jim's shoulders. It kept both of them still, and it gave him something to focus on, watching the crease in Jim's expression as he dealt with the pain. His own thoughts dwindled to something small, meek, insignificant. The endless litany continued but at half the volume; he was more tired from the pon farr than he knew.

"Please."

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

Jim's breathing had picked up as he dealt with it, eyes squeezed shut until every wrinkle showed around their edges. Marks picked up in such a short time, ever since the original fight against Nero. He let out a shaking breath and shook faintly in reaction to everything.

"Stop." Got out through gritted teeth.

[cso-spock.livejournal.com]

Spock slowly sat back onto his heels in front of Jim. His fingers trailed down Jim's arms, ghosting over bruises at his arms, his elbows, his wrists. He didn't break the skin contact, but he did glance up to the bed, seeing Leonard sleeping there. The bruises...

"Is Leonard...?"

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

The bruises at his wrists were the deepest, black-purple-green at the edges. He tried to focus on what Spock was saying, focus around the thickness of the pain pounding at his temples. "...what?" He didn't understand the question.

protectProtectprotect

[cso-spock.livejournal.com]

It took some moments before Spock repeated his question again, moving a little closer to the bed. "...Is he injured?" One hand kept to Jim's skin, while the other other reached out to touch Leonard, ghosting over a bruise at his hip.

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

Jim's reaction was instinct. He growled low and he grabbed Spock's hand, squeezing the wrist very hard. His eyes narrowed to slits, and every bit of him screamed protective. He let out a slow breath, "Don't fucking touch him." He whispered softly.

[cso-spock.livejournal.com]

His jaw tightened at the unpleasant sensations that grip gave him. Then, as much as he wanted to keep his contact with Leonard, Spock relented, pulling his hand back. "...you did not answer my question."

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

Jim let go. "...Yes. Both are." His voice was blunt, but still tight with his headache.

[cso-spock.livejournal.com]

He looked at the ground and Jim's hands (guilt). To be reasonable, to take into account Jim's own needs over his own, he should pull his hand back completely from his skin...but it still felt soothing, welcome.

Spock took a slow breath, trying to analyze the situation objectively. "...would you like me to contact the authorities?"

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

Jim pulled away from Spock, looking silently to him for a long moment. He moved to finally sit his back against the bed, breathing out slowly. "What happened, Spock?" The words fell rough from his throat. He wanted to know before he decided anything. The authorities... that hadn't even come to his mind.

[cso-spock.livejournal.com]

"You would be better able to inform me, Jim." Spock changed his seat, moving off his heels and then pulling his knees up to his chest to wrap his arms around his legs. The water, aside from dripping from his hair, was evaporating from his skin and taking his body heat with it. "This is not an event I remember well."

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

"I don't fucking know!" He strained to keep his voice at a minimum, with Bones asleep nearby. "Why the fuck did you do this to me and Bones!?"

[cso-spock.livejournal.com]

He could only really guess to the extent of which he had touched Jim and Leonard. The visible indicators told him a lot and Jim's anger through the bond told him more. He nearly winced as it sloshed hot and caustic into his own mind.

"...do you truly believe I have the answer to that question?"

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

His glare was just as hot as his anger, "I believe you're the only one who has any real clue! You hadn't said a damn thing that would have given us a clue this was going to happen! Hell, this or pon farr in general!"

[cso-spock.livejournal.com]

Spock looked aside, spotting the fallen bottle of lubricant rolled up against the side table. "There was no reason to inform you of the pon farr, as we were already approaching the planet. Neither did I...anticipate including you in--this. You have Leonard. Simply because either of your counterparts are permanently involved with another variation of myself does not mean...you would accept it here."

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

"...except now you permanently fixed yourself to my--" Several words fell through his mind before he chose, "mate. Whether or not any of us wanted it, or want it." His fingers clenched into fists; he ignored the throbbing pain in his wrists.

[cso-spock.livejournal.com]

"It is only as permanent as you allow it." He risked a side glance at Jim. "We are among Vulcans. You could request a healer to dissolve it." Not that he didn't ache at the thought of losing something that he had only just acquired and was becoming acquainted with. Spock wouldn't deny (to himself) that he had wanted them in this. He had just imagine a more pleasant aftermath.

[dctr-mccoy.livejournal.com]

Bones had been listening for a few moments, but he sighed loudly at this. Rolling over, Bones opened his eyes and looked Jim for a long moment before sitting up. "That's not an option, Spock." He cleared his throat, the sheets pooling around his waist. "That'll mess up your head pretty bad." With a bond this new, tearing it apart would be extremely painful.

A bond with multiple people, so fragile and new... It would be devastating.

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

Only seconds before Jim was about to question more deeply into that. He looked up to Bones, knowing he couldn't hide the shocked expression from his face. "... not an option?" He said quietly, confused.

He didn't understand at all. How was that not an option?

...Did Bones want to be apart of it that badly? Jim wasn't sure entirely how to feel about that. There was a lot the two of them... still needed to discuss about this.

[cso-spock.livejournal.com]

Spock looked up at Leonard, then, and postponed his answer with a little swallow (guiltfear crept by). "It could be considered retribution--for what I have done to you." He would recover...eventually. What were great men without an occasional but relatively short (to his apparent lifespan) period of insanity? Sometimes it was required for genius.

[dctr-mccoy.livejournal.com]

"Retribution?" Bones took a deep breath, feeling the guilt coming off of Spock in waves. "You think I'd want you to go insane outta some sense of revenge?"

Fuck, it might kill a weaker Vulcan, driving them into some sort of spiral downward. Bones turned toward Jim. "You know I'm the last one to be interested in this whole 'bondmate' business, but I'm not willing to destroy him," he pointed at Spock, "to do it."