[Discovery] -- [Kirk's Office] -- [Open for Official Business]

[kirktastic]

It was so heavily backlogged. Messages, paperwork, reports, news - all of it was backlogged. Kirk had holed himself up in his office, trying to get through it all. Okay, the paperwork was at least not seriously backlogged and he saw Spock's hand in that. Spock was good at that sort of thing, even if Kirk wasn't entirely surprised to see some things hadn't been done. The internal complaints and notices were personal touches that Kirk liked to do himself instead of shuffling it off to someone else and Spock wasn't the sort of person to do that.

So he sat at his desk, chewing on the end of a stylus as he read the latest complaint. It was someone going on about the lack of space on the ship and having to bunk up with someone else. He groaned to himself, rubbing the bridge of his nose. Grow up, he thought at the officer in question and gave a quick reply back that was the professional version of 'suck it up'. The officer, Kirk had to admit, did have a point. There were just too many people on the ship now. They were over their short-term limit of crew, and he had already gone through several complaints from Starfleet itself about the rising cost of keeping the over-crewed Enterprise in food, supplies, and pay.

It was a choice he had to make. The stylus slid from between his teeth and he tapped it on the desk, staring down at the console in front of him. He nudged aside a report with a swipe of his finger and drew up a new document. This one would be going straight to the big wigs in Starfleet. He kept it short and sweet, without going into serious details.

It was a request to lighten the crew of the Enterprise by removing crew and transferring them to other ships. In a way, Kirk hated to do it. He knew people had signed on with the ship because of its fame, of him, of Spock, of Bones... and had stayed despite some serious issues already with the time-whatever was happening. There was just no choice. He figured the smallest amount of people he could get away with was about 80 people. It would free up a huge chunk of space and let people spread back out into single rooms instead of being forced to bunk up. It would also leave some more spare rooms, along with the twenty or so that were regulation to keep open for emergencies (which they seemed to be one giant emergency half the time anymore).

Sent, Kirk switched to the next document. One thing that he hated to do but he had little choice was in dealing with leave requests, either it was a straight out 'no' until they dealt with Nero and Ayel, or it was a 'request granted, but'. He wanted to be able to give them an 'of course, go ahead, you deserve it' but it was impossible right now with everything happening.

He had saved one set of documents for last, and with a sigh got to those. It was all stuff having to do with the Romulans.

What he started reading just about stopped his heart in his chest. What the fuck!? Nero had hurt himself (tried to kill himself!?) in his cell with a knife. How did the Romulans have any weaponry!? Kirk's fingers flew as he pulled up his orders to the head of security (dammit, Alex...) and he re-read it. There, down in the second paragraph. The Romulans were supposed to be searched, if security had to stun them to do it. Either Security had issues with knowing what a weapon was, or no one had gotten the balls together to search them.

Chapel had ended up going into the cell to save Nero's life (or heal him...). Kirk's eyes narrowed and he felt his teeth grind together. Immediately he sent out a message.

To: Christine Chapel (headnursechapel)
Nurse Chapel,

I need to speak to you in my office immediately unless you're in surgery.

Captain Kirk

He had to get more information on what had happened down in that cell. If he thought that was bad, it just got worse. He read about the Narada being on board, talking to her masters. Shit, shit... As if all of it couldn't get worse. He read Starfleet's orders for them to go straight to the New Vulcan Colony, and his brows vanished into his hairline. It made sense, of course, as the Vulcans were the ones the most hurt by Nero's actions.

There was someone on the colony he needed to talk to. Wanted to talk to. It made his heart beat flutter in his chest in a strange mixture of knowing, wanting. Spock, the one that had started it all, had never fully left him. Too many memories, emotions... left behind too many questions. Maybe he could get answers to them.

It would also be the site of Nero's trial, Kirk could only assume. He wondered how it would be worked out to try someone like this. Note, go back and read any history I can get on any sort of similar situation. He wanted to go into a trial prepared with what might happen, what they could ask of him, the story he would have to tell (again, with tons of additionals).

He already started to schedule a meeting with security for after his talk with Chapel. Heads would roll for what happened down in the brig. He saw a mention of Jim going down there with the Narada - he'd have to talk to Jim too.

To: James Kirk (original_fine)
Jim,

I need to speak to you in my office immediately about the Romulans.

JTK

He was going to find out what the hell was going on with his ship, before they got to the Vulcan Colony. How does a week as a kid end up with everything breaking down without me there? ...I think I need to talk to Spock.

To: Spock (cso_spock)
Spock,

As soon as you can, I need to talk to you in my office about what happened while you were acting captain.

JTK

Comments

[original-fine.livejournal.com]

"Lucky you," Jim said dryly. "Half the time we're called to deliver supplies or ferry a dignitary or something mundane--but that's sort of the price you pay for being the flagship, you know?" Maybe things really were different here, and maybe Kirk would learn. It was early days, yet.

Jim missed his ship.

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

"Seems so pointless, but hey, orders are orders. Right now, they all have something to do with Nero." Jim leaned back, stretching a bit. "She'll be there, waiting for you Jim. Your beautiful ship." He was sure of that. Jims and Enterprises were meant to be together.

[original-fine.livejournal.com]

Well. He hoped so. "It's not pointless," he said fondly, his thoughts distant. "I grumble, but... it's what we do. It's not just new life, et cetera. It's not just the edge of the galaxy. We represent the Federation even within the Federation. The best and the brightest. We mean something."

He drew himself back to the present.

"Or we did. If she's waiting for us, Jim, she's not the ship I love. She's off doing her job."

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

"You're right, you're right," Kirk nodded, giving a small smile. "I don't think she's sitting in space somewhere dead, but... I know she's waiting patiently with whoever's in charge, waiting for the right back coming back to her captain's chair."

He knew that, even before he met Jim, something had forced events so that he ended up in that chair, taking control.

[original-fine.livejournal.com]

Jim didn't believe in destiny. But it was curious, how things had played out, across multiple universes. The ones they could see, anyway.

"I hope you're right," he smiled. "What else can I tell you?"

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

"Actually there is something else you can tell me," Kirk leaned on his elbows, "What did Chapel tell you about her going down to the brig on an emergency call?" His eyes turned serious all over again, focused.

[original-fine.livejournal.com]

Jim frowned. "She gave me a full report," he said. "It was one of the reasons I was coming to see you today."

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

"Well then," A gesture, "Report away." He wanted to compare what she had told him versus what she had said in his office. Not that he thought Chapel would lie, but Jim had been told when it had been fresher in her mind.

[original-fine.livejournal.com]

"She told me she was on duty in Sickbay when an emergency call came from the brig. Since she was the senior officer on duty, she went. Nero had produced a knife--presumably not taken from him when he was beamed aboard--and was holding it to the field and then burning himself with it. Chapel managed to get the guard to lower the field, and gave Nero, who I believe had passed out by then, aid. And take his knife away.

"She also spoke to Ayel, who asked her to speak to me about letting him see Nero. He showed her his knife as a show of trust, of a certain type, and offered more if she spoke to me and I acted on their behalf."

His grim expression was evidence of how seriously he took this incident. Which should never have happened.

"Jim, what's going on with them down there? Why did they have knives?"

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

"I gave specific orders to security. I told them no one was to lower the field to anyone but myself or on my orders. Told them to make sure the Romulans were fed vegetarian meals, though I'm not even sure they do that like Vulcans... and that I didn't care if security had to stun them both first, they needed to be checked for weapons. I got changed back to being an adult again and come to find out at least two of those rules were broken. The first... well, that might not have been an option, but it wasn't even reported."

Kirk actually growled quietly, "I'm having a meeting with the head of security and the lieutenant that ended up letting Chapel into the cell and didn't even go in there with her. Heads are going to roll." He looked pissed, and was.

"I don't like that Chapel went to you instead of Spock, to be honest. I know she's your crew, but Spock was the acting captain of this ship. I'm not mad at her, before you ask, this is a weird situation and people probably don't even know who they should report to... but dammit." He sighed, "I don't want command breaking down on this ship."

[original-fine.livejournal.com]

In his experience, Romulans were not vegetarian, but that wasn't the point right now. He spread his hands.

"I don't see the situations as the same," he said. "As in, your security disobeyed orders, for whatever reason. None of them acceptable. Chapel was concerned, saw the command breakdown, and probably came to me because she didn't know where to go. She probably couldn't be sure Spock would listen, considering what she saw in the brig. None of us really knows if we're on familiar ground or not--if she thought something was happening down there that had been sanctioned by command--however abhorrent that sounds to you--it made sense for her to come to me."

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

"It means your crew doesn't believe in our command," Kirk said bluntly, "Instead, decides to not trust us and goes to you."

He sighed, "I'm really not mad at her, I'm just... really concerned. Concerned with a lot of things. Determined to fix them, one at a time."

[original-fine.livejournal.com]

Jim had wondered when, if, it would come to this. Whether Kirk would come to resent the command he did not even intentionally exert. Just as he, himself, impersonally resented the lack of it.

"What do you want me to do?" he asked nonconfrontationally. "We're a team, Jim. They're going to see me in a certain way no matter what. I'm not saying that's right. But I'm wondering... about that other ship. Whether this is really a tenable arrangement for both of us."

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

"There isn't anything you really can do, I'm not too blind to see that." A weak smile, "We just have to find what works for us, as a crew. All of us. I need to be able to trust your crew to come to us as command. Also... I worry about Spock. At least, him as an acting captain."

[original-fine.livejournal.com]

Jim smiled grimly.

"You realize the contradiction," he said. "You want my crew to trust you and yours, but you have your own doubts. What is it?"

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

Kirk held up a finger, "No, I didn't doubt them until this thing happened with Chapel. Your crew obviously had them before."

[original-fine.livejournal.com]

Jim held up his hands.

"I don't know that," he said. "I know it's confusing for them. But I can't know what they do or do not think, before or now. If you have doubts, Jim, it's possible others, not so close to the situation, had them before. Granted, it speaks to a breakdown in the chain of command. But it doesn't indicate it's willful. What do you want to do?"

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

"I'm not saying it's willful," Kirk said with a light hint of frustration. "I'm just saying it exists, and I'd like to take care of it. I'm just not sure how. Maybe you could talk to your crew about it?"

It was frustrating. He was doing everything in his power to keep the ship running despite frantic problem after problem, issue after issue, but it felt like because he was taking care of these things he was losing touch with everyone.

"I know I'm not perfect, and neither is Spock," A thought about how Jim seemed to be in the eyes of others tried to work its way in, and Kirk shoved it off, "but we're doing everything we can. I'm supposed to trust in my crew. I trusted security to do their job, and they didn't."

[original-fine.livejournal.com]

"I know," Jim said. "And it's frustrating. None of us know how this is supposed to work." Sometimes the art of captaining a ship like this was perfecting one's free-fall. "I'll talk to them."

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

"Thanks," Kirk gave a smile to his counterpart, "least we can get something working, even if it isn't perfect. We're going to have to do that if we want to work together as a crew."

[original-fine.livejournal.com]

"Indeed," Jim said. "And another thing--did you get the reports about the condition in which we found the Romulans, down in the brig?" His mouth had hardened into a thin line. "I assured them that wasn't the way of Starfleet or the Federation. But I'd like some assurance on that."

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

Kirk's fingers twitched and he nodded, "...Yes." His voice was tight, "I couldn't believe it. I gave them orders, and they were completely ignored. Not just orders, but the Federation's basic rights. I hate Nero and Ayel as much as the next person who lived through what happened, but dammit!"

His fist tightened and he forced himself to loosen it, "I plan to make sure that several of my security are removed from this ship and get to deal with Federation punishment."

[original-fine.livejournal.com]

"Which, nevertheless, won't be as harsh as what was given out here," he said. "I felt sick, Jim. I wanted to punch someone. I understand it's not a perfect world, and hatred exists, but this... I never thought I'd have to feel lucky it wasn't worse."

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

Kirk sat back, sighing, "...People lost a lot, Jim." His voice was quiet, "People lost family. Friends. Crew. Husbands. Wives. Not just Vulcan... but all those ships. Most of my graduating class... gone in seconds. I'm not giving an excuse to what anyone's done, but... I can understand it. We're all Starfleet, but the wounds are still there, open and raw and the source of them is right at their fingertips. People are only human, and they'll be punished for their choices."

He felt infinitely older. He wondered if Jim would hate him for saying that, for understanding what his security people did even if he didn't like it. Maybe he just didn't care if Jim did think it - the others from outside of this universe couldn't fully understand.

Kirk missed the days when things were easier between him and Jim, enough that it hurt inside. They just... disagreed on so much, or so it felt. It made him question what choices he made. He wondered if Jim ever questioned his own ideas and choices because of him.

[original-fine.livejournal.com]

Jim looked at him quietly. "You think I don't understand?" he asked, a slight edge to his voice. "You think I haven't stood there, knowing lives were in my hands, that vengeance was in my control, and made tough decisions? Should I hold your security, or mine, to lesser standards than I hold myself? My god, you think I haven't been tortured, or witnessed death on a grand scale, and then been faced with the decision of what to do about it? I understand, Jim. I also understand that what makes us worthy of the uniform we wear is that we don't act on those feelings. I'm not some--what were they called? hippies?--I'm not some hippy who believes we can actually wipe out human nature. But part of being human is controlling it. You think I don't understand, but I do."