[Discovery] -- [Kirk's Office] -- [Open for Official Business]

[kirktastic]

It was so heavily backlogged. Messages, paperwork, reports, news - all of it was backlogged. Kirk had holed himself up in his office, trying to get through it all. Okay, the paperwork was at least not seriously backlogged and he saw Spock's hand in that. Spock was good at that sort of thing, even if Kirk wasn't entirely surprised to see some things hadn't been done. The internal complaints and notices were personal touches that Kirk liked to do himself instead of shuffling it off to someone else and Spock wasn't the sort of person to do that.

So he sat at his desk, chewing on the end of a stylus as he read the latest complaint. It was someone going on about the lack of space on the ship and having to bunk up with someone else. He groaned to himself, rubbing the bridge of his nose. Grow up, he thought at the officer in question and gave a quick reply back that was the professional version of 'suck it up'. The officer, Kirk had to admit, did have a point. There were just too many people on the ship now. They were over their short-term limit of crew, and he had already gone through several complaints from Starfleet itself about the rising cost of keeping the over-crewed Enterprise in food, supplies, and pay.

It was a choice he had to make. The stylus slid from between his teeth and he tapped it on the desk, staring down at the console in front of him. He nudged aside a report with a swipe of his finger and drew up a new document. This one would be going straight to the big wigs in Starfleet. He kept it short and sweet, without going into serious details.

It was a request to lighten the crew of the Enterprise by removing crew and transferring them to other ships. In a way, Kirk hated to do it. He knew people had signed on with the ship because of its fame, of him, of Spock, of Bones... and had stayed despite some serious issues already with the time-whatever was happening. There was just no choice. He figured the smallest amount of people he could get away with was about 80 people. It would free up a huge chunk of space and let people spread back out into single rooms instead of being forced to bunk up. It would also leave some more spare rooms, along with the twenty or so that were regulation to keep open for emergencies (which they seemed to be one giant emergency half the time anymore).

Sent, Kirk switched to the next document. One thing that he hated to do but he had little choice was in dealing with leave requests, either it was a straight out 'no' until they dealt with Nero and Ayel, or it was a 'request granted, but'. He wanted to be able to give them an 'of course, go ahead, you deserve it' but it was impossible right now with everything happening.

He had saved one set of documents for last, and with a sigh got to those. It was all stuff having to do with the Romulans.

What he started reading just about stopped his heart in his chest. What the fuck!? Nero had hurt himself (tried to kill himself!?) in his cell with a knife. How did the Romulans have any weaponry!? Kirk's fingers flew as he pulled up his orders to the head of security (dammit, Alex...) and he re-read it. There, down in the second paragraph. The Romulans were supposed to be searched, if security had to stun them to do it. Either Security had issues with knowing what a weapon was, or no one had gotten the balls together to search them.

Chapel had ended up going into the cell to save Nero's life (or heal him...). Kirk's eyes narrowed and he felt his teeth grind together. Immediately he sent out a message.

To: Christine Chapel (headnursechapel)
Nurse Chapel,

I need to speak to you in my office immediately unless you're in surgery.

Captain Kirk

He had to get more information on what had happened down in that cell. If he thought that was bad, it just got worse. He read about the Narada being on board, talking to her masters. Shit, shit... As if all of it couldn't get worse. He read Starfleet's orders for them to go straight to the New Vulcan Colony, and his brows vanished into his hairline. It made sense, of course, as the Vulcans were the ones the most hurt by Nero's actions.

There was someone on the colony he needed to talk to. Wanted to talk to. It made his heart beat flutter in his chest in a strange mixture of knowing, wanting. Spock, the one that had started it all, had never fully left him. Too many memories, emotions... left behind too many questions. Maybe he could get answers to them.

It would also be the site of Nero's trial, Kirk could only assume. He wondered how it would be worked out to try someone like this. Note, go back and read any history I can get on any sort of similar situation. He wanted to go into a trial prepared with what might happen, what they could ask of him, the story he would have to tell (again, with tons of additionals).

He already started to schedule a meeting with security for after his talk with Chapel. Heads would roll for what happened down in the brig. He saw a mention of Jim going down there with the Narada - he'd have to talk to Jim too.

To: James Kirk (original_fine)
Jim,

I need to speak to you in my office immediately about the Romulans.

JTK

He was going to find out what the hell was going on with his ship, before they got to the Vulcan Colony. How does a week as a kid end up with everything breaking down without me there? ...I think I need to talk to Spock.

To: Spock (cso_spock)
Spock,

As soon as you can, I need to talk to you in my office about what happened while you were acting captain.

JTK

Comments

[original-fine.livejournal.com]

Jim smiled grimly.

"You realize the contradiction," he said. "You want my crew to trust you and yours, but you have your own doubts. What is it?"

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

Kirk held up a finger, "No, I didn't doubt them until this thing happened with Chapel. Your crew obviously had them before."

[original-fine.livejournal.com]

Jim held up his hands.

"I don't know that," he said. "I know it's confusing for them. But I can't know what they do or do not think, before or now. If you have doubts, Jim, it's possible others, not so close to the situation, had them before. Granted, it speaks to a breakdown in the chain of command. But it doesn't indicate it's willful. What do you want to do?"

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

"I'm not saying it's willful," Kirk said with a light hint of frustration. "I'm just saying it exists, and I'd like to take care of it. I'm just not sure how. Maybe you could talk to your crew about it?"

It was frustrating. He was doing everything in his power to keep the ship running despite frantic problem after problem, issue after issue, but it felt like because he was taking care of these things he was losing touch with everyone.

"I know I'm not perfect, and neither is Spock," A thought about how Jim seemed to be in the eyes of others tried to work its way in, and Kirk shoved it off, "but we're doing everything we can. I'm supposed to trust in my crew. I trusted security to do their job, and they didn't."

[original-fine.livejournal.com]

"I know," Jim said. "And it's frustrating. None of us know how this is supposed to work." Sometimes the art of captaining a ship like this was perfecting one's free-fall. "I'll talk to them."

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

"Thanks," Kirk gave a smile to his counterpart, "least we can get something working, even if it isn't perfect. We're going to have to do that if we want to work together as a crew."

[original-fine.livejournal.com]

"Indeed," Jim said. "And another thing--did you get the reports about the condition in which we found the Romulans, down in the brig?" His mouth had hardened into a thin line. "I assured them that wasn't the way of Starfleet or the Federation. But I'd like some assurance on that."

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

Kirk's fingers twitched and he nodded, "...Yes." His voice was tight, "I couldn't believe it. I gave them orders, and they were completely ignored. Not just orders, but the Federation's basic rights. I hate Nero and Ayel as much as the next person who lived through what happened, but dammit!"

His fist tightened and he forced himself to loosen it, "I plan to make sure that several of my security are removed from this ship and get to deal with Federation punishment."

[original-fine.livejournal.com]

"Which, nevertheless, won't be as harsh as what was given out here," he said. "I felt sick, Jim. I wanted to punch someone. I understand it's not a perfect world, and hatred exists, but this... I never thought I'd have to feel lucky it wasn't worse."

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

Kirk sat back, sighing, "...People lost a lot, Jim." His voice was quiet, "People lost family. Friends. Crew. Husbands. Wives. Not just Vulcan... but all those ships. Most of my graduating class... gone in seconds. I'm not giving an excuse to what anyone's done, but... I can understand it. We're all Starfleet, but the wounds are still there, open and raw and the source of them is right at their fingertips. People are only human, and they'll be punished for their choices."

He felt infinitely older. He wondered if Jim would hate him for saying that, for understanding what his security people did even if he didn't like it. Maybe he just didn't care if Jim did think it - the others from outside of this universe couldn't fully understand.

Kirk missed the days when things were easier between him and Jim, enough that it hurt inside. They just... disagreed on so much, or so it felt. It made him question what choices he made. He wondered if Jim ever questioned his own ideas and choices because of him.

[original-fine.livejournal.com]

Jim looked at him quietly. "You think I don't understand?" he asked, a slight edge to his voice. "You think I haven't stood there, knowing lives were in my hands, that vengeance was in my control, and made tough decisions? Should I hold your security, or mine, to lesser standards than I hold myself? My god, you think I haven't been tortured, or witnessed death on a grand scale, and then been faced with the decision of what to do about it? I understand, Jim. I also understand that what makes us worthy of the uniform we wear is that we don't act on those feelings. I'm not some--what were they called? hippies?--I'm not some hippy who believes we can actually wipe out human nature. But part of being human is controlling it. You think I don't understand, but I do."

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

"It isn't you or I!" Kirk looked up, eyes narrowed, "They made their choices, and they'll pay for it. There's a reason that some people are captains and officers and some aren't. It's the thing inside people like you and me that has enough control to be in charge that separates officers and crewman. I don't think I'm any better than they are, but it takes that something extra. I have to find out what the hell happened down there, how far up the ladder it goes."

His eyes closed, "Ever since that stuff with C--Alexander happened..."

[original-fine.livejournal.com]

Jim raised his hands. "You're right," he said. "And I don't envy you the task. Is there anything I can do in the meantime? Make things easier for you?"

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

"A report," Kirk looked to Jim, the corner of his mouth raising up in a not-smile, "A formal report, to Starfleet, for the trial... everything you've learned about and done with Nero, Ayel, and the Narada. You're going to probably have to go before them and repeat it anyway, but we all have to turn in an official report."

[original-fine.livejournal.com]

"I know the drill," Jim said, a grim smile of his own. "I've got my notes--I can have that for you by the time we make orbit."

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

"The paperwork never ends," Kirk agreed. "I have a feeling... this is going to be a big couple of days. We've met a lot of these Vulcans on the colony, the ones that survived the planet's destruction. I'm not sure how they're going to deal with us entirely, considering."

He leaned back, "...Guess a part of me is always going to fear they hold a grudge for us not being successful, no matter how illogical a grudge might be."

[original-fine.livejournal.com]

Jim smiled loosened slightly.

"Vulcans have been dealing with Humans for hundreds of years," he said. "If they do feel something of the sort, they'll consider it the height of bad manners to show it. They know you tried. They know Spock did."

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

"That's the thing. I'd rather just... know they're pissed instead of constantly having to guess." There was nothing he could do about it, though. "I guess... we'll just have to see what happens when we get there."

Kirk hesitated, then glanced to Jim again, "...Hey Jim, any recommendations about the ship that's following us? I mean, the Narada's following not that far behind us, matching our speed. Saying that's making me nervous... understatement."

[original-fine.livejournal.com]

Jim laughed. "Well, they'd say that being 'pissed' is illogical, and they'd feel ashamed to feel such a thing, so I doubt they want you to guess."

His expression sobered.

"I won't lie--she's an unknown quantity. I've tried to mitigate the surprises as much as I can--tried to argue for understanding and the value of justice, and for now, I think she's waiting. She says she'll protect her masters. She worries about how she'll be treated, and will consider attempts to access her computers or physical self as hostile action. But under the circumstances, I thought it was preferable to her attempting to try something on her own."

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

"I have no idea how Starfleet's going to handle a sentient ship that has enough firepower to destroy us," Kirk leaned on his elbow. "...Or likewise, how she's going to handle them. I don't want another battle on our hands. Seems like any tiny mis-understanding could end in diaster."

[original-fine.livejournal.com]

"Indeed," Jim said grimly. "She's still there, outside the brig, under guard. Her Romulan form, I mean. I sent up the report, but anyway, I thought accommodating her slightly was preferable to outright hostilities."

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

"As much as I hate it, I can't not agree. I hate her being on this ship, but for now... it's better than open fighting." Kirk closed his eyes, sighing. "We just have to hang on a bit longer until we meet up with Starfleet."

[original-fine.livejournal.com]

"We will." Jim offered him another smile. "Still. Something else you should be aware of--I wrote it up, but we might as well talk about it. Nero doesn't recognize the Narada as fully Romulan anymore. At his command, she's integrated some other technology--a civilization called the Borg which I can't find in any memory banks and seems like a group that's trying to take over in our future. Anyway, that's where the stuff we don't recognize comes from. But she's based her identity so strongly on Nero's approval, I think she's sort of stuck. She can't be what he has not defined her to be, but he doesn't seem to approve of what she is. We need to watch out for that."

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

Brows up. Seriously? "...Nero is completely insane," Kirk threw out there, sighing again. "...Dammit, if they're fighting in whatever way, that's just one more problem. Us holding Ayel and Nero is the only thing keeping her from attacking anyone. It's also the only reason, I hope, she's following us."

The Borg... it didn't ring any bells in his head. "...There's someone on board I might be able to ask about the Borg." It was spoken cautiously, but... Julian.... he was from quite some time in the future, maybe he would have heard about these Borg.

"How did she react?"

[original-fine.livejournal.com]

"Well, she didn't act upset," Jim shrugged, "but she never does. There's an inherent contradiction between her understanding of logic and Nero's madness, and she said she needed time to think. She's also taken the a form that I think reminds Nero of what he's lost--a miscalculation on her part, I think."

He cocked his head.

"Who would you ask about the Borg?"