[Prisoners in the Brig] -- [Kirk, Ayel, and Nero]

[kirktastic]

Kirk took the time to read himself. He had a feeling he was going to need it, to keep his calm. The tattoos were gone, leaving behind only faintly pinked lines that Bones swore would fade to white then fade even further. Only the ones along his left arm stayed, with Vulcan visible from his wrist over his hand. The ones he had asked for, his own story, his own personal grief that he knew from not one, not two, but three sides. His own, the oldest of the Spocks, and Nero's. Each conflicting, each painful, each one right in its own method which did nothing but piss him off a little.

Kirk felt his left hand start to ache as if it knew who he was going to talk to. He had the knowledge that they were girls, and a fast look at the security cameras had confirmed that. It was weird. They had hair. He just had to do this, see them in the brig, tell them the basics of what would be happening to them, and then he wouldn't have to see them until he testified at their hearing.

He could do this. Had to do this.

Kirk gestured for the guard to let down the first field, which let him continue down the hall. Ayel's cell would be closer to him, with Nero as far away as possible to keep the two from communicating. He walked up to the field, and looked inside, studying Ayel quickly before the other noticed (he hoped.)

Comments

[loyalty-ever.livejournal.com]

Even through the glare, he knew when he was being stared at. And--they blocked some of it, were less terrible to focus on than that he couldn't escape.

He wasn't afraid. Pressed his back flat to the wall and looked right back at Kirk, stared, didn't blink away the light burning behind him.

"What?"

Oh, gods. He had Sharra's voice, too.

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

"Ael." Spoken in the same time Nero often said it, the same accent, because that was how he had learned the Romulan's true name. He studied Ayel closely, this... weird female body that still looked like Ayel, just like Jim still looked like Jim.

[loyalty-ever.livejournal.com]

It was too much, this place, that look and him--wrapping his tongue around a name he knew but didn't understand, close and caressing, like his captain where had they taken him.

He lunged at the field, struck so hard that he bounced back just ahead of the charge. It crisped the hair from Sharra's hands. The air reeked of singed leather--his coat, their coat, a little too broad for her.

"" She was even the same swearing, screaming. Sharra would have hit it again, and again and again, exhausted herself, but Ayel had to wait, try and hold it together. "You--you don't have the right--"

He was shaking. When had he started to do that?

They still had the knife.

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

"You didn't have the right to kill thousands of people on purpose," Kirk's voice was hard, "You didn't have the right to destroy a world because someone failed to divert a natural disaster that would have taken your world anyway. Don't talk to me about rights. The moment you attacked the Kelvin, you lost all your rights in this universe except for the right to a fair trial."

[loyalty-ever.livejournal.com]

"A fair trial."

There was the strangest--hitching behind his ribs, a stuck feeling that rattled, bubbled hard and bitter from Sharra's mouth. That was the laugh she used for ration tickets, for when there weren't any more.

"Fair. Fair trial would be all my crew, my family, standing with me!" He leaned close, twisted her face up until teeth showed. "I don't see them here."

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

"If you hadn't attacked Vulcan, your crew would still be here, wouldn't they? You wouldn't have your family. They would have died anyway, if the Vulcans hadn't offered their help, because the Romulan government hadn't had a plan until the Vulcans gave their assistance." Cold, hard, opposite of Ayel's rage. "You and Nero killed your own crew because you chose revenge on the wrong people instead of going and preventing the same thing from happening a hundred some odd years from now."

[loyalty-ever.livejournal.com]

This language was fucked.

They didn't have a word for...they had two separate words, crew and family, same as in the Rihannsu, but they had no word that meant both at once. The misunderstanding, the failure to see, was understandable. Didn't stop it from making him angrier.

"Stop it," Sharra hissed, same as when he'd sassed her once too often, shut up, Ayel, "stop spouting what others tell you. We asked their help! We begged it. Spock promised it. And do you know, can you guess, what they did? They sent us home empty-handed."

His liver wanted to crawl up out of his mouth, constricted, scalding and bitter, so bitter.

"We were late. We did fail. Because of them."

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

It was work to not snarl his words, no different than Ayel. "They tried to help! They couldn't control when the supernova suddenly sped up faster than expected by anyone. How can you expect them to? They promised help, and they did everything they could to deliver it. The only thing you can fairly be angry at them for is not being able to bend time and space to make developing the ship and red matter faster!"

[loyalty-ever.livejournal.com]

"I was there." And now it was Nero's voice, there, in his head, I saw it happen--don't tell me it didn't happen, and that fit, too.

Christopher hadn't listened, either.

But he spoke for Nero. It was his job.

"I was there." Folded his arms, gripped too hard, started to pace for lack of being able to hit or throw anything at all. "Of course, you were long dead by then. Only a legend."

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

"I was there," Kirk breathed out softly, stepping closer to the force field between them. He tapped his temple, "I saw it all happen thanks to Ambassador Spock. I heard every bit of it from Nero's lips. I know both sides. The Vulcans didn't want to help you, but Spock convinced them. He did everything he could to make them help. They could have been faster, maybe they could have stopped the super nova. On the other hand, your government did nothing to help your people, they fled themselves like cowards. You could still have your freedom, have your crew, you could have gone back to Romulus and told them about the super nova, saved your future selves, their family, their loves, Mandana, and all of the Romulan race. Instead... your revenge was more important. Blaming someone else, making them hurt, was more important than saving everyone else."

[loyalty-ever.livejournal.com]

He froze. Wouldn't back away. Couldn't approach unless he wanted a nasty shock. The field was buzzing at him, angry, coiled to strike.

"?" It was sacrilege, the origin language drawn hot and sharp like a dagger over his sister's tongue.

Lies were impossible, in such a state. Spock couldn't have lied to him, then.

Ayel shuddered, lowered Sharra's eyes, hating himself for looking weak, acting contrite. But women without a family could be too easily hurt in too many ways. He would have to bargain with what he had.

"Don't say her name," soft, warm around a tight knot of revulsion when what he really wanted was to scream, to kick the fucking field down and pry half his heart Nero's wife out through Kirk's teeth.

Ayel licked Sharra's lips, parted them.

"Don't say her name. I'll give you mine."

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

Names. Names were something important to Romulans in a way he didn't understand. What did it mean I'll give you mine? "Kash-nov," Kirk agreed - the mind-meld. "Your Captain gave me her name. Burned it into my skin in black. Burned it into my mind with his words."

"You aren't supposed to be female. Something happened with the transporter. Maybe we'll fix you, when we've figured out how to fix it."

What did Ayel mean? Give you mine...

[loyalty-ever.livejournal.com]

"I see. But that one--he's old, confused. Not like yours, I'd imagine. Young and strong."

The very idea had bile prickling the roof of his mouth.

He could do this. He could. It wasn't like he'd never cracked his knees on stone before. And--it was already a woman's name. Ael.

Sharra had pretty legs. A little thin, maybe, but they made a statement, crossed at an angle, almost a curtsy. She had beautiful hands. Even if they were wearing his calluses.

"Captain Nero."--call him that here, only that--"Captain Nero wrote her, on your skin, to keep. But he didn't give her to you." Smile, don't spoil it. "Wouldn't you rather have a living name?"

He'd never be able to scrub the taste of this out of his mouth. Not ever. "Something warmer."

It would be worth it, if the field came down.

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

It took him a few seconds. The look on his face had to be priceless as he finally understood. The look could only be described as 'oh hell no!'

"No." Kirk spat the single word, blinking as he shook himself out of his shock. "Fuck, is that what you do for Nero? Don't act like some... some slut and think it's getting you out of there." It pissed him off to see Ayel act like that. "Least I had respect for you when you fought." He shook his head.

[loyalty-ever.livejournal.com]

He was going to remember that exact face forever. It was almost beautiful in its intensity. The sheer power in that denial.

He was too relieved to take offense. The act fell like water, slipped away as if it had never been. Ayel noticed the insult but let it slide by, kept it for later.

"Good." A genuine smirk, now, hard and sharp. "But now you understand? That's the cheapest use for a name: speaking it to get a reaction, offering it to get the same. Don't speak what isn't yours. It makes you less," his lip twisted, "respectable."

There wasn't time for gentler lessons, for a fucking cultural exchange.

"Please. When I want out, when I try to get out, you'll know it."

Counterproductive to bait him--illogical, some traitor-friends would have said--but Ayel didn't care.

It felt too good.

"How do you respectfully shoot someone?"

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

"Your captain made it mine whether or not he or you wanted to when he tattooed me with it." The scars would never leave his skin, even if the ink had.

"You won't find a way out of there. Starfleet is almost here, and you'll be made to pay for your crimes."

Kirk's fingers folded into a fist, "...you've both disgraced everything Mandana and her child were." He knew the strength of that insult. "Tarnished her name forever in this universe because of what you've done."

[loyalty-ever.livejournal.com]

He held very still, glaring at the skirls of pink human skin where his crew should be.

"They're not yours, they'll never be--you erased them twice, "

But Kirk kept going, curled Vulcan across the back of his hand--should have shattered it, finished it, and damn the pain. Kirk drew on his anger, on Vulcan's wrath and breathed her name, cold fury in his eyes as he mangled her memory. Dared to bring Nero's son into it, their child. Unseen and unborn, but not nameless, .

There were words, noises that followed after her name, little sounds that felt like bees but left no meaning at all.

"You," he choked out, forcing his face blank, "you want to leave this room. Right now."

He'd have Kirk's teeth for a necklace. If he had to fry himself to do it.

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

"This barrier'll make sure you stay there. We fought already once, Ayel. I won. I don't want you crew." His fingers flexed, "Mine still lives, because I chose to protect them instead of take revenge."

[mirror-brightly.livejournal.com]

Talking. They were talking, bleeding through the air and the light and the back of his skull. His eyes were closed hard, kept out the meaningless white, the blue that had no flavor, no sound. His head was burning with words and letters----that clattered in circles through the air.

He could hear Naele, her commands were harder when she loomed, when she waited for him.

"Quiet! All of you!" The words hit the wall, Lloannsu sounded strange, resounded with the only times she'd spoken it to him. It was too loud. He needed out, wanted out. "I'm here with you, just...be silent!"

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

The shout spooked him. He'd never admit it, but when every bit of him was keyed up in determination when talking with Ayel? The sudden shout hit at his fight-or-flight reaction like a hammer to a nail. He jumped, hand flailing out to catch himself--

He saw Ayel's movement at the same time. The run forward at the barrier, heedless of his own safety--

Those words!

His hand hit the force field just as Ayel's body slammed into it. The vaguest awareness of crackling, a flare of pain, all noticing compared to the voices in his head.

Safe! Always, I promise--

You can fix anything. After all, you fixed me.

Help me up. We should run.

Stay with me, baby. Stay with me. Don't die. Don't die. Don't die.

[loyalty-ever.livejournal.com]

I don't want your crew.

He heard nothing, saw nothing else, thought of nothing but knocking those words down Kirk's teeth.

"D'nrai!"

It cut the air beyond him just as he hit the field, just as it sparked with outside touch, sizzled with backlash and the magnesium flare of Kirk's hand.

It wasn't Ayel's voice. Not his, no, and not Sharra's. It was like before--his captain shouting even as Ayel scrambled to cover him, to protect him...from himself?

Off! Off! He'll hurt you, not safe, let go!

Too close, too much, too loud. It burned, it burned. He was hurt again.

Just hurt. Not shot. He wasn't a Bones.

Bones was real--was a real person that Kirk knew, knew and counted on. No wonder he'd backed away; his heart was already taken, whether he knew it or not.

It wasn't a dream. It had really happened...some of it had really happened.

And that shout--was it real?

""

Some of it had been a dream.

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

Both of them fell back, and despite every difference that lay between them, they temporarily wore matching facial expressions of shock. It took Kirk only a second to understand the words. "Ie." Yes, yes he did hear him. His hand was throbbing painfully, but it was a distant feeling compared to realization.

The realization that Ael felt like Bones. Bones... Bones... Bones had been shot, he'd been determined to get him out, to safety...

Bones himself had said it. He hadn't been on the Narada...

[mirror-brightly.livejournal.com]

Rihannsu now, shifting languages, shifting lights. He could see them through his eyelids, feel them. He knew that voice, Sharra, half cocked in harsh sizzling buzz. He smelled flesh, didn't dare open his eyes. The white would be twisting, something else was there.

he answered slow, low against the wall, pitched to keep Naele out of his throat, away from his head. It didn't work.

[loyalty-ever.livejournal.com]

Not his captain after all. It hadn't been Nero sprawled across him sick and hurting, who had clung to him, broken on the floor. Not his captain. This one. James Kirk. Jim. Ayel had reached for Jim, who felt like home, like safety, for a moment's time.

Who knew enough Rihannsu to answer him in it.

Ayel was, suddenly, exhausted. Sharra had coiled tight, knotted muscles in places he wasn't used to. Her hand stayed a strong green where it had touched the field, blistered underneath the skin. It twinged sharply if he even looked at it too hard.

Bones was real.

You fixed me.

""

There was a hint of wonder, of weakness, in it, and Ayel braced himself on the wall. He was too stiff to stand properly, Sharra's skin still prickling around him like it wanted to climb up off his--her?--their back.

He wasn't going to collapse in front of Kirk. Not even if he was sometimes Jim.

Was it his voice? He knew some Romulan. No. No. Something, someone else, down far away in the wall, wanted them to stop shouting.

All of you. Everyone, everyone who screamed without making a sound.

There was only one other Rihann aboard this ship. He would--did--stake his life on that.

But they couldn't talk--that was a way barred with cell checks, with questions that meant nothing, sneering disregard from behind dark ridged helmets.

At least there were none of his crew left to hurt. It was a cold mercy.

""

Soft, but strong enough to carry, for Kirk and the wall both.

Ayel narrowed her eyes, drew her brows down tight. Sharra had a scowl that stopped foremen in their tracks.

"You should go to him."

That was all for Jim--not a threat. Just a fact. He would need to keep safe everything that mattered to him.

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

Staring at Ayel, it took time to process the words each time Ayel spoke. The words felt like they had to pass through a thick barrier to get to whatever part of his brain did translations. I'm his? Whose?

"Who?" Kirk whispered before he could stop the word, but he knew without having to ask. Bones had been on that ship... or at least, the memory of Bones had.

Nero, down the hall, was ignored. His hand throbbed as it hung limp against his side, bright red and he wouldn't be surprised if it was blistering.