[After Sickbay] -- [Kirk's Quarters] -- [Free to All]

[kirktastic]

At least he made it to his quarters before he lost it.

Kirk walked straight to the bathroom, toeing off his boots in the process, throwing medical jumpsuit onto the floor. He sunk down on the floor beside the toilet, brought his knees up to his chest, and dropped his forehead to them. He breathed out slowly, then let out a quietly frustrated sound.

That was as far as he made it before he turned and threw up, making it to the toilet by sheer force of muscle memory from many drinking nights in the past.

Bones had been broken, down on that planet. A broken mess of a man that was covered in blood and pinked-burned skin and dirt and so damned cold. The image would not leave his mind, the whole scene playing out in his mind. It was his fucking fault Bones had been down there. His fault. Bones hadn't wanted to go, but he had forced him.

And now the one long-term relationship of any kind in his life was in sickbay, held together by bandages and meds and sheer human will power.

"What the fuck?" He whispered to himself, tasting sour vile in the back of his throat. It reminded him of something he refused to let himself think about. Seeing another place, another time, so many dead broken bone-thin bodies--

He lost his stomach again, eyes squeezing shut. He forced himself away from the toilet and just laid there on the cool tile of the floor. The reeking smell of smoke and chemical and rusting metal all sat thick in his nose even after all of those hours. He kept his eyes closed, knowing he should get a shower (cold one, so his skin didn't try to climb off his bones), but.. just not caring. The tile felt deliciously cold.

He could go be captain in a while. Right now, he just wanted to ignore everything and hate the world for having hurt Bones like that.

Ignoring the awkwardness and unsure nature of the relationship? That... was a little less possible.

His mind replayed the kiss in the shuttle bay, the look in his friend's eyes, and wished all of this crap was so much less confusing.

Comments

[cso-spock.livejournal.com]

He had seen the way Jim had acted during this entire away mission, the agitation about his demeanor mingled with solemnity. Even the relief that they had found McCoy alive did not seem to be affecting Jim as much as it should have; it became evident when he had wearily told Spock that the doctor wanted to see him.

So, after his conversation with McCoy, Spock had it a point to settle his own concerns. After getting that regenerator taken off and given permission to leave sickbay, he returned to his quarters and dressed out of the medical jumpsuit and into his regular uniform (thankfully not soaked in acid now). His hands remained wrapped.

In fact, it was his hands that made him hesitate at Kirk's door, staring at the little buzzer in the wall with more concentration than he had ever regarded such a simple mechanism in his life. He estimated how much pressure it would take, raised his hand and--oh yes, he had estimated it, and the pain involved, correctly. Not that any of it showed.

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

Kirk did not get up. He didn't even lift his head up. Instead, he just called out. "...Who's at the door, computer?"

"Commander Spock." Came the feminine voice, and he groaned. Fuck. Seriously, did it have to be him? Spock wouldn't leave him alone. His face twisted into a very displeased expression for a moment before Kirk dragged himself off the floor, rinsed his mouth out, and went to--

Oh, still mostly naked. He grabbed a pair of sweat pants at least before calling to the door, "Door, open."

[cso-spock.livejournal.com]

Spock stepped into the room just enough to allow the doors to close behind him. Again, he had to fight the habit to fall into an easy parade rest. He cast an appraising look over Jim's body--his appearance confirmed Spock's suspicions. Though he had hoped that the man would be in a better state. "Jim," They were in private settings, and this was not entirely on-record, though it still had elements of a conversation between a first officer and his captain. "It appears that you remain troubled, even with the successful rescue of McCoy."

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

"...My best friend's laying in sick bay broken up, I think I've got a right to be worried, Spock." Came the dry sarcasm that was followed with a grin. Just had to play it easy for now, enough to... what? Console Spock? Was the man worried for him? Seemed so.

[cso-spock.livejournal.com]

"There is a difference between worried and returning to your quarters in this condition." He made a simple gesture towards Jim with one bandaged hand, bringing attention to the man's lack of professional clothing, if he had somehow missed it. "Starfleet Command is requesting communication regarding the doctor's sudden relocation back to the Enterprise."

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

"I just got out of sickbay and was planning to get some sleep so that I can sleep off the last of these burns, not my fault you caught me getting ready to do it." Kirk just gave him a look, but it changed to shock. "You've gotten be kidding me. They don't--"

He growled a little to himself. "Oh, I have something to say to them about the situation on that planet. A lot of something." He stood up, walking to his closet, pulling out a clean uniform.

[cso-spock.livejournal.com]

He could see Jim was obviously angry, upset, not exactly in the most rational state of mind (more so than usual), and if he started talking to the admiralty in that tone...Well. He hoped his division's budget wouldn't take too much of a beating. "Jim." This mission was becoming too much for his Captain, and Spock hoped that he realized it, too.

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

Kirk looked up to Spock's face, meeting his eyes. He could tell a lot from that single word, and he didn't like a lick of it. "...I'm in my own quarters, I can be how I want here." He growled, but his next words were stopped by the comm beeping (http://kirktastic.livejournal.com/9227.html?thread=304651#t304651).

[OOC: Follow along that thread for now!]

[spockkam.livejournal.com]

A security ensign presses comm to Kirk's quarters, leaves message that newcomer has arrived (http://spockkam.livejournal.com/331.html).

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

[OOC: ...<3 Kirk is sorta kinda outta it but he'll be right ... oh screw it, I'm coming. Mind RPing out Kirk answering the comm instead of rushing right over?]

[spockkam.livejournal.com]

[ooc: :D i really wanted to join in the roleplay but i wasn't sure how to start! i read up on how kirk didn't want anyone on the enterprise without his knowledge so that's why i did that. i will make a more detailed message!]

"Sir?" The ensign asked, after not recieving a response for several minutes.

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

[OOC: No it was perfect! Just a very unhappy moment for the Captain there! XD]

"...Shit." Kirk forced himself over to the console, flopping into his chair with a groan, and hit the flickering crimson 'message'. "...Yes?"

[spockkam.livejournal.com]

The security ensign looked slightly scared as he realised that Kirk was definitely in a bad mood, but continued on bravely. "I just saw a kid...who kind of looks Vulcan...running off of the transporter pad. I thought you'd be interested in knowing."

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

"...A kid?" Surprised flooded his voice. "Well, where is he??"

[spockkam.livejournal.com]

"I am unsure, sir. The last I saw him he was attempting to hide behind the console in the transporter room hallway. I'm not sure if he speaks English or not. I tried talking with him and he sounded very distressed, but didn't seem to understand what I was saying." The ensign ran a hand through his sandy blonde hair as he spoke. "Maybe he was just too scared, I don't know. He can't be more than eight or nine."

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

[OOC: Give the Spock/Jim thread a few minutes to catch up so I can respond to this properly. ^^; Sorry!]

[spockkam.livejournal.com]

[OOC: It's all good!]

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

[OOC: And back to our regularly scheduled programming! XD]

"Oh shit." Kirk said rather unprofessionally. "Alright, alright. I'm coming down... man, I know about two words of Vulcan. Specifically "I don't know how to speak it." He realized he was grumbling to one of his crew and shook his head. "Sorry. I'm coming."

He hit the comm off and sighed. A look slid over to Spock, "I'm gonna deal with this kid thing, okay? I'm fine. Maybe you should come anyway.. if the kid doesn't speak Standard, I mean." Though he didn't sound particularly happy about the idea of Spock coming along.

[spockkam.livejournal.com]

The ensign nodded and downloaded instructions on a PADD as to where the kid was located, here (http://spockkam.livejournal.com/331.html).

[cso-spock.livejournal.com]

Not that Spock cared what his personal opinion on the matter was at this moment; it was only logical that someone who knew Vulcan meet this wandering child. He nodded once. "I will assist you with this matter, though I recommend that you reassess your condition." He really liked his budget where it was, unchanged.

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

Kirk rolled his eyes then went into the bathroom to change quickly. When he came out, he tossed the sweat pants on the bed before looking to his first officer. "Hey Spock, how do you say 'fuck you' in Vulcan?" Kirk gave him a long look, smirked, then left the room to find the child now on the ship.

Great, just what we need. Someone new... a kid.

[cso-spock.livejournal.com]

The things he had to endure from his Captain. They always seemed to get worse when he least expected it.

Spock followed him out.