Captain's Log: What the hell!?

[kirktastic]

....SPOCK.

Report to me at once. ...Supposedly there is three of you, at this point, I'll take any one of the three.

What the HELL is this?!

This sure as fuck better be someone's idea of a joke. ...Vulcans don't really DO THIS stuff, right?!

Comments

[anon-crewperson.livejournal.com]

Aahhahhahhahha!! Ummm...There's much worse prompts than that on the kink meme, as you will discover, Captain.

The fangirls are crazy

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

I mean, I've done a lot of kinky things in my life. Most of the stuff on the kink meme don't bother me at all (...some are... questionable. There was this one about a toy Narada and... yea...)

But... this whole thing says Vulcans basically have to fuck or die. That seriously can't be true. I mean... look at Spock! He's about the last person I could ever imagine this happening to. I can't even believe the man's been laid. I figure it's too hard to remove the stick up his ass.

[dctr-mccoy.livejournal.com]

*sits and waits for Uhura to reply*

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

...You know something about this, don't you? I know that look.

[dctr-mccoy.livejournal.com]

I'm just saying, how can you say he hasn't been laid? You told me yourself what you saw on the transporter.

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

Rolling my eyes here, Bones. I mean OBVIOUSLY he is but that doesn't mean I can wrap my head around it.

[dctr-mccoy.livejournal.com]

Don't give me that, you like thinking about it. I can see it in your squirrely little eyes.

Are you more bothered that he ended up reaming you in that story, or that the story itself exists. Cause there are hundreds of them scarier out there.

In some of them, you're even in love.

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

Yea, I've been poking my nose around. I'm not BOTHERED by the story, I just seriously can't believe something called 'pon farr' exists. And excuse me, I'd top him anyday, Vulcan strength or not. ...Wait, did I seriously just say that?

I've read a couple of scary ones.

...Spock fucking a tree. I'll leave it at that. I can't unsee it.

[dctr-mccoy.livejournal.com]

Well, believe it. In fact, you might get to see it again soon (http://sehlatbear.livejournal.com/889.html).

Oh, yeah, did I saw AGAIN? Apparently there's a story there 'bout us that I'm not sure I want to know about. Okay, yeah, I want to know but that Spock is pretty tight-lipped about you and him in the past.

[sehlatbear.livejournal.com]

My previous reluctance to discuss this condition with you and the Doctor of my timeline nearly cost you your life, a situation I would have...regretted. Thus I confirm the existence of pon farr though not quite in the manner which the prompt portrays.

[cso-spock.livejournal.com]

Captain, I do not believe Vulcan reproductive biology is any of your concern.

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

Spock, geez.

Did you READ THAT? It sure as hell my concern if you're really going to be doing that in the future!

[cso-spock.livejournal.com]

You seem to take this work as the prophetic truth when it is only well-researched fiction. It was obviously written with the clear intention to lay the groundwork of a sexual relationship between us, and that fact alone makes the events described extremely improbable.

When the inevitable does occur, however, I doubt you will be involved in any way.

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

Huh. So you haven't done it yet?

Is it like hitting purberty for Vulcans?

Yea, yea, I know. You'll be all sexing up Uhura and I'll have to put Bones on medical ready.

[just-uhura.livejournal.com]

That is none of your business, no matter how many prompts there are on this thing suggesting that you join Spock and me in bed.

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

...whoa, that sounds kinda ridiculously hot. *BIG GRIN*

[just-uhura.livejournal.com]

I suggest you ask Spock about the likelihood of that happening.

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

Seriously, are you just against having harmless fun or something?

[just-uhura.livejournal.com]

That all depends on whether your definition of fun matches mine.

[cso-spock.livejournal.com]

These questions are irrelevant to the command of this ship. Therefore, I am not obligated to answer them.

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

No, but one of you Spocks is being so kind.

[just-uhura.livejournal.com]

I assure you Captain, they don't produce mate-attracting pheromones.

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

...You're one of the few that would know.

[just-uhura.livejournal.com]

I have no comment on the matter.

[original-fine.livejournal.com]

Wait. They don't?

*slinks away*