[Meeting of the Minds] -- [Jim and Jim]

[kirktastic]

To: Jim (original_fine)

Jim, remember that non-office talk we said we needed to have? You busy? Mind if I come see you?

JTK

Kirk sent off the message and slumped back into his bed, closing his eyes. He had some questions for Jim... about his relationship with Spock. and definitely some about being a girl. Even though last night had been long (though coming home... amazing). Bones definitely knew how to make a guy feel even better about coming home.

Comments

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

Kirk hesitated about that last question, frowning, "Don't get what you mean. 'What happened to you'? That covers a lot of ground. I mean... it's just... what I've done for years. I enjoy it. Bones drinks like a fish, I don't rail him on it even if he does it too much."

Pause. "Fuck that came out wrong... I mean, he's got flaws too. I deal with them, still want to be with him, don't feel unhappy about them. They're just a part of who he is. I offered to stop doing it, but that isn't enough. I just.. " He gestured, "This is going full circle, already. I know he isn't me, doesn't feel like I do."

[original-fine.livejournal.com]

"It's going full circle because there isn't one answer," Jim said. "For whatever reason, you or Bones or both aren't ready to find it yet. At some point, one or the other of you needs to be okay--really, truly okay--with what the other one needs."

At some point, Kirk may need to ask himself if enjoying sex with other people was truly worth losing Bones. Jim didn't think he was there, yet.

"To determine whether the differences between you are like chocolate--nice, but ultimately worth giving up--or air."

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

"Chocolate," Kirk said immediately, "It isn't air. I never said it was. I offered to give it up!" He tried to explain. "I mean, I might not be 100% happy all the time about it, but I offered. You could give up chocolate and not be happy you had to it, but you would for them. I offered the same thing. He wasn't happy with that!" He threw up his hands.

[original-fine.livejournal.com]

Jim shook his head. "I know," he said. "I know we've been over it. I know it doesn't make much sense to you, but if I can sense you're unhappy about it, you can be sure Bones can. And that, I think, is the thing. If he thinks you're forcing yourself to do something onerous, just for him, he may fear your eventual resentment. I can't ask Spock not to be logical. He might try to comply, to make me happy, but I'll always know it goes against his nature. I'm just not sure we're the same in this way, Jim. I'm just not sure casual sex is as important to me."

Jim felt like he'd said the same thing over and over, but there wasn't much else he could do. They'd have to work this out for themselves.

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

Kirk just didn't get it. He sighed, shaking his head. "Maybe another subject instead?" he grinned, just a little. It hurt, but... he'd deal with it. He'd talk to Bones. He had an angle to talk to him about it, now.

[original-fine.livejournal.com]

Jim cocked his head.

"Like what?" he asked, wondering what Kirk would come up with.