[Need to Punch Something] -- [Kirk and Kirk]

[kirktastic]

Between finding out about Alex, finding out about Spot, and finding out that the bridge had gotten something from the planet below, Kirk was... well, frustrated wasn't quite the word. Stressed was definitely it, and there was one thing (other then alcohol, and he was refusing to go that low right now) that worked to get him ... okay TWO things including sex, but that wasn't (amazingly) on his mind either.

He wanted to punch something. Hard. Jim sounded like a good idea for a sparring partner right now.

With a fast comm to Jim, he had himself a sparring partner as he got off shift. He went back to his quarters and pulled on the same basic clothing he had worn back at the Academy when teaching classes - no formal gi, just loose shorts and a tee shirt.

He glanced around the gym, wondering if he had beat Jim there. When he didn't spot his counterpart, he found a flat, open spot and started to stretch out. Briefly, he wondered if pulling out safety equipment would be a good idea. At least the gloves. It'd keep his knuckles from ending up with bruises... and putting any on Jim.

Comments

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

His fingers clenched, "I have to stay here. Watching Nero, making sure he doesn't get at the dilithium? That's more important right now. I... I want to make sure this ship is safe."

[original-fine.livejournal.com]

Jim didn't say anything. It wasn't his place, and he was grateful, yes, that Kirk had taken his advice. He needed to make his own decisions. Under the circumstances... Jim didn't rightly know what he'd do. It was possible to keep the ship safe without Kirk being on it, on duty, constantly. But he understood.

"I understand," he said quietly. "But are you sure you want to send me in your place?"

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

"I think you'll do better then I will right now. I don't think... I think I'd just be better not being at the head of a group of people meeting a new species, right now." He glanced up. "When... I know more about what Nero's doing, I'll go down, if we can."

[original-fine.livejournal.com]

"Okay," Jim said, his eyes warm. "I'd be proud to." He was impressed with Kirk's restrain, not because he didn't think him capable, but because he knew what it took. "Who else you sending?"

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

"I don't know yet. Uhura, and maybe the female Spock? I need to think on it more.." He laughed, "Our very first meeting with another species. I don't want to screw it up."

[original-fine.livejournal.com]

"You won't," Jim assured him. "Seriously. We're good at this."

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

"I'm hoping. ...Crew's really young. ...me too." He shrugged a bit. He knew it was true. "We're all learning together."

[original-fine.livejournal.com]

"Some of it... you can't train for," Jim said. "You have to do, and that's the only way."

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

"Do you think I'm doing this wrong?" Kirk looked to Jim, wanting an honest answer. "Keeping an eye on Nero, letting you and my crew handle this? Or... should I go down too?"

[original-fine.livejournal.com]

Jim watched him seriously, wanting him to know he was taking him seriously. "I don't think there's a precise right and wrong, here," he said at last. "The reason we've got this ship, with all these people, is that everyone contributes something to the team. We're in command--we're not necessarily the one who's supposed to do everything. I know Command wishes I'd stop taking on so much myself. Unnecessary risk, yadda yadda. Then again... I'm good at what I do. And I like it. And we come through stronger than ever. That doesn't mean there aren't others who couldn't handle it just as well, in their own way."

He grinned winningly. "I just have a hard time letting them have all the fun." He sobered. "But you need to decide what you think is best--and then make sure it's true. Or be able to change when the situation demands flexibility."

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

"I think this choice is right." He reached out, laying a hand on Jim's forearm. "If you went down, with that female Spock, and a good away team? I have no doubt you guys'll set things right. They're reaching out, contacting us... that's important."

[original-fine.livejournal.com]

"It's our mission," Jim agreed. "And you'd do just as well. I know it. I just... I don't want to take anything away from you. That you'll resent."

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

"It's not like I won't be down on the planet at all." Kirk gave a little dismissive wave of his hand. "Nothing to resent."

[original-fine.livejournal.com]

"Okay," Jim said, smiling. "Just making sure. I want things to be... open between us," he said. They shared so much already. "What do you think of the new Spock?"

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

"...Well, I've started calling her Gracen." He grinned, "It's her middle name, if you can believe that, and she agreed to it. A whole lot easier then having half a million Spocks on this ship. She..." He wasn't entirely sure how to put it, and frowned, "I dunno. After having met your Spock, and knowing mine... the one I did...? She seems... different. More Vulcan, less human. More like a computer, honestly." He shrugged.

[original-fine.livejournal.com]

"Gracen?" Jim wasn't sure he could handle that. Spock was Spock. Except in his head, where there was girl-Spock and beardy-Spock and my-Spock and Spock-junior. "I don't know about that. She's pretty formal, in a sense. But she's also..." He searched for the words. "More comfortable with herself. Less conflicted." He shrugged. "I could be misreading entirely, of course."

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

Kirk shrugged, "I think she seems more comfortable with her Vulcan side, maybe. She just... didn't seem human to me." He made a face, nose wrinkling. "Maybe it's just because I don't have that..." Little gesture, "You know," Another one, "Connection with her."

[original-fine.livejournal.com]

Jim shrugged. "I'm not sure I do. But I think she's... funny. I've stopped trying to think of Spock--mine, anyway--as Vulcan or Human. He's himself, and doesn't have to conform to either one. Oh, I'm not saying you're pigeonholing her, or any of them. It's just not how I think about him anymore. Though maybe that's because he's stopped so rigidly identifying as Vulcan over the years. You should have known him earlier."

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

"I've known a Spock earlier." He grinned a little. "You've just had... more experience with Spock." A little shrug, one he couldn't help. It was just the truth after all.

[original-fine.livejournal.com]

"True," Jim allowed. "But I've watched the journey. Part of it, anyway. Just as he's watched me become a captain. You'll have that, too, of course. Even so... I don't know. I didn't know your Spock before Vulcan, but... he seems... Angry. Lost."

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

"...When Spock Prime came through..." His eyes dropped, and he slumped, "Everything that might have been changed forever." His voice was only a murmur. He touched his temple, flickers of stuff that wasn't his - fuck, it was Jim's life - passing through.

[original-fine.livejournal.com]

"Hey." Jim reached out, a hand on Kirk's shoulder, concerned etched in his features. "Everything might have changed forever. Everything had the potential to change. A lot did. A lot--a surprising lot--didn't. Whatever you're comparing this, yourself, anything to, it doesn't matter. It's not certain. Some of it might go better, some worse, but it's all yours, right?"

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

"I wish I knew." Kirk admitted, looking to Jim, "Ever since I met Prime, and you, and your Spock, I've been wondering about that. How much of it is mine? How much is a fate... that I couldn't have escaped no matter how much I tried?"

[original-fine.livejournal.com]

Jim laughed dryly. "Imagine finding out your whole life has been played out for millions as fiction," he said. "But I guess you did, didn't you? Doesn't help that it was all on tape hundreds of years ago. I can't think that way, Jim. Fate, what's written--I can't operate that way. I have to believe it is our own, that we simply harbor qualities that push us in certain directions. There are likely infinite universes out there. Universes where we're farmers, or street musicians, or dictators. What if we're just more likely to intersect with those that share more in common with us?"

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

"Can't imagine you being anything but a captain." He teased a little, but shook his head, "I don't know what I can imagine yet. This just... all seems a little too like coincidence. I always believed fate didn't exist... until I ran into the hundred year older version of the Vulcan who hated my guts on a nearly lifeless ice ball."