[A Stupid Hot Mess] -- [Kirk and Bones]

[kirktastic]

After the communication with Bones, Kirk already knew this was going to not go well. He had left a last note to Bones, giving him the location of a small lounge near the residential area. It was supposed to be for ambassadors, but hell, he was Captain. He could use it, and he could lock it down.

He also knew the replicator had access to the alcoholic menu.

He flopped down with a grunt into a heavily padded chair and closed his eyes. His left hand was throbbing slowly in time with his heart beat, and he told it to leave him alone. This was the absolute last thing he ever wanted to be doing.

And Bones was forcing him to. Fuck.

Comments

[dctr-mccoy.livejournal.com]

"Kinda." Bones melted into the touch, his shoulders arching lightly as he subconsciously leaned back and sighed, closing his eyes.

"I don't want to fuck this up, especially with your family." Hanging his head forward, he shivered a little. "You and your dad are too important to me."

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

Kirk kept up the slow massage, pausing only to shake out his hand when the stiffness made the muscles ache. "Feel the same about your mom." He muttered unhappily.

[dctr-mccoy.livejournal.com]

"...hmmm." Bones closed his eyes, and chuckled a little. "Funny, I'm glad to have them all, you know, in our lives again."

"But it sure as hell complicates things." He sighed, reaching up for Kirk's hand. "My mom... its all a mess, you know. Fucking that up, I think."

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

Kirk slid his hand into Bones' grasp, squeezing a little. "Why do you think you're fucking it up?" He asked, looking down at his friend.

[dctr-mccoy.livejournal.com]

"'Cause she told me?" he laughed a little bitterly. "She had a bit of a breakdown, told me I wasn't her son, not the one she wanted anyway." He let their fingers slide together before lacing them. "Hmmm, between her and Joanna, I've been wonderin' if I'm doing either of them any good or just making things worse."

He looked back up at Kirk and shrugged.

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

"Can only do what you can do, Bones." Kirk said softly, sliding his other hand through Bones' hair.

[dctr-mccoy.livejournal.com]

"Yeah," he said. "You still like me, guess that counts for something," he joked, leaning his head against Kirk's lap.

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

Kirk smiled a little with that, feeling better slowly. "Always will." He muttered, brushing his fingers in a flicking motion as a little tease. He wondered, and dreaded, what Bones would ask him next.

[dctr-mccoy.livejournal.com]

They sat there like that for a few quiet moments, just touching each other softly. "So what happens now?" he asked, hand on Kirk's leg, rubbing gently.

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

"..Up to you, doc." Kirk said very softly.

[dctr-mccoy.livejournal.com]

Bones looked up. "Sorry," he said, giving him a sad smile. "Wasn't clear there. I meant, what's next with Nero and his ship? What's gonna happen with them?"

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

Kirk licked his lips, "Gonna call an officer's meaning. Both sets of crew, just the higher officers. Figure out what we should do... even if my say is final."

[dctr-mccoy.livejournal.com]

"How you feeling 'bout that?" he wondered. "Making that decision."

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

"...I think I'm right, but... I want to know what the others think, too." He looked off to the other wall. "Jim... and I fought about it."

[dctr-mccoy.livejournal.com]

"You haven't mentioned him in a few days... was wondering what was up there."

Bones looked up. "He doesn't agree with what you're planning?"

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

His fingers tightened, "...He wants to spare Nero's life. He says Nero should live, be given to Starfleet or something." His voice grew small and tight.

[dctr-mccoy.livejournal.com]

"His disagreeing with you - that's got you upset."

Bones could feel the change in Kirk, tension rising. "You don't have to tell me what you plan to do to Nero, I imagine I can guess pretty good. But why does his disapproval matter so much to you?"

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

"He's... what I might have become. Or still could, I don't know." Kirk closed his eyes, "He's been a captain for a while now, has the respect of his crew..."

He sunk down, "And now I'm disappointing him."

[dctr-mccoy.livejournal.com]

"He's not the captain of this ship. You are. And you're doing a fucking good job." Bones twisted his body to face Kirk. "I don't care who he is, he's not you. Right here, right now, you're Jim Kirk, captain of this damn ship. Decisions gonna be yours, no questions about it, and fuck whoever's disappointed in you."

He took a deep breath. "Now you just need to make sure that the decision you make is the right one, the responsible one."

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

"That's why... I want to call the meeting." Kirk admitted quietly, "I know Spock and Jim are going to disagree with me... even if I don't understand them. What if others agree with them? ...Spock, Uhura... I trust my crew. I..."

His head slumped.

[dctr-mccoy.livejournal.com]

Bones considered his answer for a long time before speaking. "If it were me, I might have to reconsider why I think I'm right, why I think my decision is the correct one. Doesn't mean you're wrong, just because you're the only one who feels that way. But it would give me pause."

He reached up and touched Kirk's face. "That's why you've got the crew, to rely on for things like this. So it doesn't have to just be you making the decision, so that there are many voices at the table to listen to, give you options. To make you a better captain."

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

"S'why I'm holding the meeting." Kirk leaned into that house, sighing. He was so tired, like this was just draining the energy from him.

[dctr-mccoy.livejournal.com]

"It's a good idea," Bones murmured, leaning back, then standing up, "and I need a drink. You want something?" he asked, heading toward the other side of the room, opening cabinets, looking for something.

[kirktastic.livejournal.com]

"Replicator's capable of alcohol." Kirk informed, sighing. "Honestly ... just anything. A little bit." He stared at the ceiling.

"Did you get interviewed by Green?"

[dctr-mccoy.livejournal.com]

Bones stopped, turned and stared at Kirk. "Replicated alcohol?" he scoffed, shaking his head. "Sometimes I don't think I know you at all..." he murmured, searching until he found a bottle of something clear. "They always have stuff like this in these lounges," he said, bringing the bottle and two glasses.

Bones sat across from Kirk again. "Yeah, we talked," Bones told him, filling the glasses. "Not sure we actually said much," he added, handing a glass to Kirk.