James T. Kirk (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
kirktastic) wrote2010-05-02 12:07 pm
kirktastic) wrote2010-05-02 12:07 pm
[NVC Day 14, Night] -- [Passing Along the Bill] -- [Bill/Kirk]
It had been a far, far too long day at the trial. To say that Jim's mood was shit was, at best, an understatement. There was a deep part of him that didn't believe in the idea of fair trials. It was a part of him that had lived through Tarsus IV and watched good people be killed to 'ensure' the survival of others. It was a part of him that had been the genius-level repeat offender Pike had known, that had started off in the bad eyes of the law just trying to survive. It was a part of him that still rebelled against the fact he hadn't just killed Nero.
Jim would never understand the choice he had made in his own mind to kill Nero. He was sure that Jim's universe, in many ways, was just that different than this one. Against Nero, it had been a fight. It meant survival. Listening to the defense for Nero try to get him saved under the bullshit of being insane... Jim had no doubt the Romulan was completely and utterly insane, but he also knew that Nero was a very, very smart man who had known exactly what he was doing. Nero just didn't care that it was wrong. Eye for an eye.
Bones was gone, having gotten a comm from the hospital asking for his assistance with a human patient. The look in those dark eyes, a silent Will you be okay, Jim?, had briefly broken the spell of determination, anger, guilt, and resentment that had been around Jim all day. The faintest of smiles, a touch of their hands, and Bones had left.
Now he was alone and all of it was coming back. It was something he didn't want to feel, didn't want to be acting like this and feeling like his hands were dirty. He didn't want to feel guilty about Vulcan, didn't want to feel guilty because Jim insisted it was wrong.
His hand flexed at his side, the bones hurting down deep. The ache had started early in the day, and even with Bones having to massage it out of sight of any Vulcans when it had started to cramp, it was starting all over again. Maybe a shower's heat would soak the bone out of it, but he doubted. Hadn't helped before.
Jim walked down the hall of the guest quarters, heading for his room he was sharing with Bones.
Jim would never understand the choice he had made in his own mind to kill Nero. He was sure that Jim's universe, in many ways, was just that different than this one. Against Nero, it had been a fight. It meant survival. Listening to the defense for Nero try to get him saved under the bullshit of being insane... Jim had no doubt the Romulan was completely and utterly insane, but he also knew that Nero was a very, very smart man who had known exactly what he was doing. Nero just didn't care that it was wrong. Eye for an eye.
Bones was gone, having gotten a comm from the hospital asking for his assistance with a human patient. The look in those dark eyes, a silent Will you be okay, Jim?, had briefly broken the spell of determination, anger, guilt, and resentment that had been around Jim all day. The faintest of smiles, a touch of their hands, and Bones had left.
Now he was alone and all of it was coming back. It was something he didn't want to feel, didn't want to be acting like this and feeling like his hands were dirty. He didn't want to feel guilty about Vulcan, didn't want to feel guilty because Jim insisted it was wrong.
His hand flexed at his side, the bones hurting down deep. The ache had started early in the day, and even with Bones having to massage it out of sight of any Vulcans when it had started to cramp, it was starting all over again. Maybe a shower's heat would soak the bone out of it, but he doubted. Hadn't helped before.
Jim walked down the hall of the guest quarters, heading for his room he was sharing with Bones.
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"I know," he breathed against the line of Kirk's jaw; "I have to get home."
His hands drifted of their own accord, hitching him closer, bringing his full weight to bear on Kirk. This was ridiculous, he thought; indecent and unfair, but the rest of him didn't want to listen to the voice of reason screaming in his brain; not when it could instead steer their mouths together, Bill's lips sealing over Kirk's, inadvisable and sure.
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Jim ground their hips together in slow rocking motions, every part of him wanting to wrap his legs around Bill's waist and have the actor fuck him right there in the hall, against the wall. Bill's body moving against his, the look in his eyes, those gold eyes...
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Hell, they shouldn't be doing this at all.
He breathed in deep through his nose, steadying himself, and nipped at Kirk's lower lip. "We have to stop this," he managed, voice rough and low with arousal. "I don't know what - I mean - we're in the hallway."
We both owe it to our people to stop this right now kind of went - he hoped - unsaid. He pressed his forehead to Kirk's, biting his lip against the temptation just to seal their mouths back together, and breathed.
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Slowly, painfully against the heat, Jim's eyes crept back open. Something about stopping. No, no, fuck he didn't want to stop. His hands came up and cupped Bill's face, easing a gentle kiss again, tender some in intensity. Bill's voice was sex in his ears and the feel of him urged everything else on.
Jim was breathing harder than he would have liked, dizzy in arousal and so hard it almost hurt. His mind knew he wanted Bill, had wanted Bill, until Bill had told him Leonard would... Leonard...
"Shouldn't.." Oh but his body didn't give a damn what they shouldn't. He rubbed the edges of his thumb against Bill's throat, groaning against his mouth.
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And the thought of a hypo to the neck somehow cut through even this haze of desire.
"Mmmm." He wrenched himself upright and detached himself entirely from Kirk, although the step backward resonated like a physical pain.
"We have to stop," he managed, breathless and sweat-slicked and unnaturally, fiercely aroused. "This is - something's - " wrong/enhanced/insane " - not right here." He struggled for breath, pressing his hands flat to the cool surface of the wall. "And I don't think your doctor wants to walk in here and see this."
God, he was proud of himself for this clarity. Fuck.
"Let's - just get home, okay?"
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It was a physical force of will power not to grab Bill and have him there. Bill was right. Bones.. he had promised himself for Bones no others.. not that he hadn't already sort of broken that (Spock's mouth against his, hot Vulcan hands around his cock)-- Fuck!
"Gotta... Bill...." He couldn't even get anything else out until he swallowed. "Something isn't. Go. Get outta here." Jim forced himself off the wall, stumbling in his first step (so hard it hurt) before he half-ran down the hall in a mirror image of what Bill had been doing only moments before.
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And then, with a great effort of will, he pushed himself up, hot and aroused and still a little breathless, and headed for home (http://canadianbill.livejournal.com/25125.html).