kirktastic | [Private Post - Bones and Kirk] -- [Knock to Enter]

*takes his chair, sits down with a huff* Yeah, my dad used to say 'it's five o'clock somewhere'... *laughs* But father-issues are a conversation for another time I imagine.

So, Captain, what's on your mind?

...Don't you start calling me Captain unless we're in bed. *half-smirk*

*pours them both a glass* ...Don't even have to ask if you remember that motherfucker abandoning me on Delta Vega ~~thanks for standing up for me, by the way~~. Well... I found someone there. Someone other then Scotty.

~~Not gonna talk about how I just stood there and let it happen. Not right now, okay? I still get nightmares about it.~~

*voice is calm, even* Okay, you found someone. Tell me about it.

...You know I've forgiven you for it, right? *gives me a serious look*

You know there's two Spocks on board right now... our Spock, and the older one... but did you know there's a third one?

That makes one of us. Not now, alright? *looks back at him*

*nods* Yeah, he stopped me when we were still on Earth, the day we got our commissions. Didn't say much to me, just wanted to wish me good luck. *shrugs*

I don't know, it was just kind of creepy. *shakes head* Sorry, this is supposed to be you talking. Go on.

You should have met him when I did. He saved my ass. I was being chased by this... this thing.. I'd have to show you a picture of it for you to believe me. He turned around and recognized me immediately. Of course I had no idea who he was. But the way he said my name... like... all the relief in the world was in his voice.

*makes fist at comment about being chased*

Relief... *nods slowly* Yeah, I can believe that... especially after- go on, keep talking.

So he tells me who he is... I called bullshit, but... he knew me. Little things about me. Like where I was born, about my mother... I had to believe it, even if I didn't want to.

Then... he.... *silence, fingering the glass* He did... it to me. *voice going very quiet*

What did he do, Jim?

*shoots the shot down, shuddering*

Vulcans... can do this... thing. He put his hand on my face and suddenly, I swear by any god that exists Bones, I was in his head and he was in mine.

He went inside your head ~~- and you didn't tell me immediately!~~ and he was inside yours.

*stiffens, sitting straight* Did you know that was going to happen or did he just reach out and put his hands on you?

Sorry, sorry. I should have told you, alright?? Actually, I sort of wasn't allowed to tell anyone... *runs his hand through his hair*

I didn't really KNOW what he was doing! I saw him reaching out and he told me that he could tell me faster this way. Then he whispered something... Something like... "My mind to your mind..." then... BAM. It happened.

Did it hurt you? Did you feel- *swallows* -invaded in any way?

Please, please be honest with me if you've ever told me the truth tell me the truth now...

I'm not sure... how to describe it. *stares down at his glass* Invaded? Oh, yea. We're all alone in our heads. Having someone else in there? S'like an invasion. It didn't hurt, not like... getting punched or cut or something... *just goes silent, remembering too much*

It hurt because he was grieving. Such grief, Bones... like... I've never felt such pain. This guilt, this grief... Spock, as emotionless as he wants to be, feels deeper then we do. He watched his whole planet die... and this Spock? He believes its all his fault. That six billion lives were destroyed... all his fault.

You are concerned about his well-being. *gets quiet for a moment* It wasn't his fault anymore than it was any of our faults for not getting there in time.

He's smart, damned smart, and it's logical that sooner or later he'll come to that conclusion.

*sits back, takes a drink from his glass, considering* Do you still feel the pain from inside his head? Is it inside you now?

You know that other me? The older me? *just stares down* ...They've ... lived entire lives. In Spock's time... he... *a tiny voice crack* He's dead. For almost 50 years now, Jim Kirk has been dead. They shared a bond, Bones. Something I can barely even describe. They felt each other die, in all that time. Died, reborn, dead again. All these... memories got passed through, these emotions, I think by accident...

*closes his eyes* But they're in my head, now. Still in there. Sometimes I dream about it, ya know? Nightmares about places and people I've never met, or ones I have and I get to watch them live or die.

*thinks about what the other Spock and Kirk said about each other being like brothers and more*

*takes a deep breath* That's not you, Jim. That's someone else, someone different entirely. Yes, he lived his life, but your experiences, from the moment you were born have made you someone else entirely, a new creation apart from him.

Those people you see? They're not us. *catches his eye* They're not us.

*meets his eyes* Don't you think I know that? I don't know everything about that other Kirk, but... I've lived some of their lives, even though I'm pretty sure I wasn't supposed to. I wish I didn't have a lot of these memories but...

*very quietly* The friendship they shared... was nearly from the start. Spock and I can barely stop trying to kill each other. It's weird. I can't tell anymore if I actually want to be his friend or if its the other Spock's memories affecting me.

*waits a minute before talking* If there was a way to have those memories removed, would you want to try?

*sighs, shrugs* Probably a little of both. Doesn't mean that you should try to make that friendship happen. It's supposed to be important, and I think ~~we all~~ you both need to accept that.

...I don't know. Depends on how they got removed. I don't know if I'd say, trust our Spock to do it.

..He told me that me finding him was fate trying to repair what was broken. I don't believe in fate. I never have. *looks up* What do you think? Could... a friendship be so strong the universe tries to make it happen to matter what?

*sits backs in his chair, finishes his drink and pours more for both of them* If you want them gone, Jim, I'll find a way to get them out of there. I promise you that...

I didn't use to believe in any of that shit. But all of this... we found each other again, all of us. Somehow, through all the strange and different paths we took, all of us managed to get back on board this ship and- *sighs*

Yeah, I guess someone or something is trying to make sure that you two... You're gonna do great things together, Jim. Discover new species. Save planets. Make history. All that good stuff you wanna go out there and do. He's supposed to be your partner for that.

Maybe that's just what's supposed to be. This whole crew... this whole crew found itself again. Even I can't believe its all just coincidence. We met purely by accident, you and me... or so I thought.

*looks up* No matter what universe we find ourselves in, no matter who I'm supposed to be partnered with, I wouldn't want it unless I had you there too, you know that, right? I'd chose you over any Vulcan without even a second thought.

*downs the liquor*

*laughs* When I think about what it took to get me on that shuttle... I didn't fucking want to go. Unpacked twice, almost didn't make it because I was so goddamned late getting there. But I didn't want to disappoint Pike - he'd come all that way to recruit me, and- something told me I had to go.

*listens to Jim, nods with a little smile* That's how I know the other one, that he's not you. Cause I could let him fly out of here tomorrow with anyone he wanted and not think twice. But you- *finishes his own in one gulp, grasps his glass tight* - you are not going anywhere without me. Ever. Even if it's just- you know, us being friends. I'm not letting go of you.

I left everything behind when I went to that shuttle. Didn't take a bag with me, gave my beautiful motorcycle away in front of the shuttle. I don't even know why I decided to do it, but I'm glad I did. Something inside... just told me... I had to go. Yea.

*hand jerks just a little, making liquor run over his fingertips.* ...Bones...? *looks up to his friend* What do you mean 'just'?

*Knocks on the door rapidly*

*jerks a little more in his seat, surprised* ...I... who is it?

*looks at door, then at Jim* Go ahead.

*opens the door slighty and jumps*

Oh! I am wery sorry, Captain, Doctor. I did not know you were busy.

I, eh, hawe a report from engineering that you must see, sir. The transporter has broken (http://community.livejournal.com/st_xi_kink/7586.html?thread=18393762#t18393762), I think; a primary particle modulator exploded. They report no casulaties, captain, but we will not be trawelling at warp with this problem. The rest of the modulators are linked too closely to the warp driwe's power relays.

Also, Doctor, thank you for releasing us from quarantine.

*looks down at his PADD* Look, Jim, I gotta run. We'll finish this later, alright? Go take care of your ship.

*gives him a look as he stands to leave*

...Wait, Bones. *gives him a look in return* This talk isn't over.

*very quietly* I know. Soon.

*turns, nodding at Chekov as he walks out the door*

*nods back quietly and moves to let him through the door*

*follows his walk out the door, then lets out a slow, slightly confused sigh before turning his full attention to Chekov*

Hell. This is the last thing we need... Where's Scotty? I'm assuming he's already on top of this?

Quarantine... oh you're that Chekov. Sorry, I can't tell the two of you apart at all.

Mr. Scott has already started to fix this problem, Captain. But there are some parts he has said must be gotten from the nearest starbase. *hands him a list* The nearest starbase will take us sewen hours to reach with sublight engines at maximum, if my calculations are correct.

And, ah, yes, I am...uh, me, sir.

[[OOC: Chekov: master of terrible, terrible timing. :D]]

*looks as Bones leaves the room, lets out a slightly confused sigh, then looks back to Chekov* Right, right.

*takes the list, looking it over* Seven hours? That's not too far out of our way. Get us underway, we don't have any choice. We're going to need to get the repairs finished.

...Seriously, I can't call you BOTH Chekov. That's just too confusing. Pick a nick name or I'll pick one.

Yes, Captain, right away!

And...eh, you can call me anything you like, sir?

...

~~I will not say any of the dirty things that just came to mind.~~

Will your boyfriend have a conniption if I call you Pavel and the other Chekov Chekov?

нет, I do not think he would mind, Captain. B-boyfriend...? *flushes* Gaila and Lieutenant Uhura already call me Pavel, this is no problem!

Pavel, then. Problem solved. *ponders* Are you two rooming together?

N-no, not really. The only time we hawe roomed together is under quarantine. Though we are on the same deck, exactly twenty-fiwe metres away, sir.

...Instead of annoying your current roommates, why not put in a request form to change your roomming arrangements?

It has been only fifteen hours since the quarantine, I would think this would be too...fast, maybe? I am not sure. I am sure sure of much these days.

I will talk to him about this, I think. Thank you, Captain!

I'll keep my ears open, Pavel. You're welcome. *grins*

[Private Post - Bones and Kirk] -- [Knock to Enter]

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