As Jim had moved forward, Nyota's eyes had fallen closed, head tilted to one side as she tried to open her mind to what Spock was feeling. She kept a firm grip on both their hands, enjoying the warm tingle that she had come to understand was pleasure. They weren't strong enough to overwhelm her, the tactile bond wasn't a meld and her mind was still her own. Yet as with everything to do with Spock, she had enjoyed figuring out what each little sensation meant, how he felt when he sent them to her.
Hearing Jim speak broke the spell, and her eyes snapped open again, darting back and forth between man and Vulcan. She had opened her mouth to voice the exact same thing, to mention that there was Leonard to consider, when the man in question did that for her. It must have looked suspicious, though she didn't know the specific boundaries of their relationship to judge how he must be feeling. If she had a spare hand, she would have moved forward to try and reassure him, though it occured to her she didn't know how. She cared for him and considered him to be important in her life, but never stopped to consider how he felt about her. She honestly didn't know.
She looked back to meet Spock's gaze, the question there. For a beat she couldn't answer, her mind withdrawing back into itself to consider it. Who was she to assume that he would even want her there? It was different with Spock, whose feelings she could sense, and Jim who always made it painfully clear that he considered her physically attractive at least. She was less sure on the rest. But Leonard... And then for a moment it was overwhelming, and it took all her self-control not to pull back her hands and step away from them.
It made perfect sense when she thought about it. They were all so fitting, like smaller pieces of a larger puzzle that worked so well. There was James (Jim) who burned hard and fast like the sun. And Leonard who balanced him out so well, all velvety smooth and dark. Then came Spock, who was everything between and always everywhere to her. Sometimes she could just sit and watch as they argued and discussed, each a force just as strong as the other. Mind, body and spirit. Was it wrong of her to wonder if maybe that was how it should be, like the other universe?
But she couldn't, wouldn't say no, so she nodded, looking back to the Doctor. "If you want to stay," Nyota offered. "If you want us to stay."
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Hearing Jim speak broke the spell, and her eyes snapped open again, darting back and forth between man and Vulcan. She had opened her mouth to voice the exact same thing, to mention that there was Leonard to consider, when the man in question did that for her. It must have looked suspicious, though she didn't know the specific boundaries of their relationship to judge how he must be feeling. If she had a spare hand, she would have moved forward to try and reassure him, though it occured to her she didn't know how. She cared for him and considered him to be important in her life, but never stopped to consider how he felt about her. She honestly didn't know.
She looked back to meet Spock's gaze, the question there. For a beat she couldn't answer, her mind withdrawing back into itself to consider it. Who was she to assume that he would even want her there? It was different with Spock, whose feelings she could sense, and Jim who always made it painfully clear that he considered her physically attractive at least. She was less sure on the rest. But Leonard... And then for a moment it was overwhelming, and it took all her self-control not to pull back her hands and step away from them.
It made perfect sense when she thought about it. They were all so fitting, like smaller pieces of a larger puzzle that worked so well. There was James (Jim) who burned hard and fast like the sun. And Leonard who balanced him out so well, all velvety smooth and dark. Then came Spock, who was everything between and always everywhere to her. Sometimes she could just sit and watch as they argued and discussed, each a force just as strong as the other. Mind, body and spirit. Was it wrong of her to wonder if maybe that was how it should be, like the other universe?
But she couldn't, wouldn't say no, so she nodded, looking back to the Doctor. "If you want to stay," Nyota offered. "If you want us to stay."